It was a May morning when Mama Cat said her goodbyes. It was sunny, but I strongly felt the physical presence of death. I couldn’t see him, but he was there with us, waiting. Mama Cat, Carmen and Ollie knew it as well. I felt a shiver, in spite of the sun.
Our dog Carmen and I had walked to the barn to put the horses out. Mama laid in the sun in the driveway near the barn entrance. Ollie, our other barn cat was nosing up to her and he and Mama were nuzzling each other, something I’d never seen them do. Carmen didn’t chase her like he usually did. Although we walked up within three or four feet, Mama didn’t run and Carmen didn’t chase. They just sat there looking at each other, something I’d also never seen before. That’s when I knew.
Actually, I believe Mama, Ollie and Carmen knew the score before I did. That’s why they were all acting so strange, which is what made me pick up on death’s presence.
I sat in the driveway by Mama and petted her. Carmen and Ollie just stood there looking at us. I picked her up, put her in my lap and felt her body for any injuries or wounds. I couldn’t find any. I rolled Mama on her back and rubbed her belly. She purred a bit. I turned her back over and rubbed her back. After a couple of minutes, she climbed out of my lap and lay back on the driveway looking at me.
Maybe something was wrong with her, or maybe it was just her time. I thought she’d gradually gone downhill in the last couple of weeks. And then one day she just looked “old”. Not bad, but old. She’d lost a bit of weight and moved slower. She wasn’t as interested in her breakfast, whereas before, she always ate as if starving. Old age creeps up on all of us I guess.
That morning, I decided we needed to take her to the vet and see if something was wrong with her, or if it was time to put her down. I decided I would put the cat food out in the barn, take the horses out and then come back and get Mama while she was eating breakfast.
As Carmen and I led the second horse out, I saw Ollie-Cat walk slowly by on the other side of the fence and I thought to myself, “OK, time to get Mama.” I went back through the barn and … she was gone. Not in the driveway basking in the sun, not by her food, not anywhere in the barn. I looked across our yard and our neighbor’s field and she was nowhere in sight. I called, but there was no answering meow.
I shivered again and felt a tear fall from one of my eyes. I didn’t know for sure, but felt I would never see her again.
She didn’t come for dinner that night and neither Cath or I saw her after that. Not the next day, or the day after, or over a week later.
I suppose a wild animal could have killed her, but I don’t think that’s what happened. I think she knew it was her time. I’d like to think she found a favorite spot in the woods, or fields, or by the pond and was lying there peacefully when death came to her and whispered softly, “It’s time old girl. It’s time to cross the bridge Mama Cat.”
Mama Cat, a Little Over a Year Ago.
Goodbye Mama Cat. We were lucky to have you in our life.
Addendum:
⁃ I wrote one previous blog about Mama Cat. You can read it here – We inherited Mama Cat about four years ago. Our neighbor had to move to a small apartment and had two other cats she was taking with her, but couldn’t take three. Mama roamed the neighborhood at will and was a frequent overnight guest at our barn, so Cathy said we’d look out for her […] Continue here: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2023/10/03/mama-cat/
Mom and Dad’s wedding anniversary was last week. They were married 73 years ago on May 14th, 1951. I was thinking about them and how both influenced my life and the lives of others. Many people say I remind them of dad, but Cathy, my wife, says mom shines through me.
In my view, both views are right and I’m a product of the two of them. Upbringing and genetics combined, making me who I am, although not always in ways people think.
Our environment at home was a good one. They had a unified front in how to raise the three of us kids and supported and reinforced each other at home. I’m hard pressed to remember a single time with any separation between them in their views about how to raise us. Home was a good environment, but they were also strict about what we could and couldn’t do as kids. They certainly encouraged us, and gave us carrots/rewards, but they also weren’t opposed to spankings and we all received our fair share. We learned about honesty, work, fairness, friendship and love in our home on Cherokee Lane. I think that environment and those ideals prepared me for life.
Our Family in the 60s.
There were differences in their individual personalities and how they approached life for themselves. Like many good marriages, their ways were complementary to each other and for them, it was a classic case of 1 + 1 = 3. I’ll talk about a couple of examples here and how they rubbed off on me.
Most who know me would say I’m pretty organized – some might even say anally so. I’ve been that way for much of my life. I use to-do lists, spreadsheets, outlines, plans … probably more than most. While some think I inherited that from dad, it’s actually pure mom. That’s how she attacked life, and her work. She was the secretary in the main office at our local high school. If you needed to find out something, the standard answer was “go ask Gen”. When I applied to West Point, it was mom who organized everything, making sure my packet was complete and reflected well on me.
Mom and I on Graduation Day at West Point.
I’ve thought about how much of my “orderliness” was a product of her, or of my time at West Point and in the Army. Maybe over the years, they became mutually reinforcing.
Dad on the other hand, was a bit looser in his approach to life. I’m not sure how much the war influenced him, but I think quite a bit. I’m betting getting wounded and almost dying makes you approach a lot of things differently, and so it was with dad. He was a hard worker, but when work was done, he enjoyed life. Dinners out, dancing, having a few drinks. When the weekend came, he was ready to enjoy it and life. I think he approached life in general that way, and tried not to let things burden or worry him, even when there were challenges.
He was also a gifted storyteller. Telling tales about his childhood, or the war, or one of the railroads he worked for – he could tell his story and make you feel you were right there. You were living it with him while he talked. It was a special gift and over the years if you were ever with dad at our home, or somewhere else, you probably heard more than a few of his stories. Even when he repeated them, he could still make you laugh.
One other thing about Dad. He never made all that much money, but money never had a hold on him. He was always generous, with family, friends and strangers.
I certainly inherited his lust for life and try to enjoy every day. As for story telling, well, I think I have some of his ability to tell a tale, however if I’m honest with myself, I’m only a pale imitation in that department. It’s perhaps what I miss about him the most.
Dad and I Swapping Stories, While Drinking Some Wine in the Alps
They both were friends with people of all ages and had the ability to put people at ease. When traveling, they would inevitably make new friends.
My cousin Dawn may have given the best description of mom and dad I’ve ever heard. “Your mom was like home. Comfortable and warm. Your dad was like a spark that gets a flame going then keeps the fire dancing. They were special people. I’m smiling now thinking about it.”
Although both mom and dad have passed on, I’m wishing them a happy belated anniversary. I’m thankful for the gifts they’ve given me, and for the enrichment they brought so many others.
Happy Anniversary and Thank You for Everything.
Addendum:
Thanks to my cousin, Dawn Tedrick, for her wonderful description of my folks!
On May 1st of this year, The United Methodist Church voted overwhelmingly to accept LGBTQ clergy and allow ministers to perform LGBTQ weddings. It was a good day for my church and for all of us. Raised as a Methodist, I’m happy to see the church finally take this next step, although it hasn’t been an easy path getting to this point.
I grew up a Methodist. I was baptized in the church as a baby, confirmed in my youth, and received my Boy Scout God and Country award after working with our minister, Reverened Hearn, for nearly a year. I belonged to the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) both in Junior High and High School. When mom passed away in 2017, her service was held at the same church I grew up in and where she and my dad were married in 1951. I believe our church was a part of my foundation, helping me grow into the person I’ve become.
Photo of my Methodist Church Confirmation Class in the ‘60s
John Wesley founded the Methodist Church in the mid 1700s and over time, it grew to become the second largest Protestant denomination in the United States. The church has focused on social issues from the beginning, including the abolition of slavery. The Methodist Church also promoted the idea of women pastors, who were officially recognized in 1956, earlier than most other churches.
Although the Methodist Church had openly gay members and ministers for quite some time, in 2019, delegates from around the world voted 438 to 384 passing what was called the “Traditional Plan”, which tightened the church’s existing ban on same-sex marriage and gay and lesbian clergy. Many of those that voted to tighten the ban were from overseas churches, particularly in Africa, and from conservative churches here in the southern United States. However, the writing was on the wall, and it was inevitable that change would come. As a result, in 2019 churches were also given a four-year window to choose to leave over “reasons of conscience” if they desired, and still keep their church property.
In the intervening four years, nearly a quarter of the nation’s roughly 30,000 United Methodist churches departed by the December ‘23 deadline. In Texas, more than forty percent of the churches left.
I prefer looking at the statistics another way. Three-quarters of the churches elected to stay and embrace love, and the future. The tally Wednesday to remove the 40-year-old ban on the ordination of “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” was 692 to 51. Embrace the future, indeed.
Sign Outside my Old Church Back Home. **
“We’ve always been a big-tent church where all of God’s beloved were fully welcome,” said Bishop Tracy Smith Malone, the new president of the Council of Bishops. She called the vote “a celebration of God breaking down walls.” *
After the votes, some attendees gathered in a circle to sing a Methodist song that has become a refrain for many LGBTQ Christians. “Draw the circle wide, draw it wider still. Let this be our song: No one stands alone.” *
I spoke with a friend, Bob, who I grew up with. Bob still lives back home and goes to our old church there. He told me that at last week’s service, as communion was offered, the minister made an extra point of saying everyone is welcome to take communion. Everyone.
Yes, I grew up a Methodist. I’m proud of what the Church did this month. God’s love is alive and with all of us. Let this be our song – no one stands alone.
++Feel free to share this blog.++
Addendum:
Thanks to my friend Bob, back in Ottawa for reviewing this blog and providing some input. We had some texts back and forth on what was going on in the Methodist Church in general, and more specifically in my old church there. Bob is a true person of faith and I respect him, and his opinions.
* These two paragraphs were modified from a New York Times article on the recent vote.
** Photo is from 1st United Methodist Church of Ottawa, Il Facebook page.
My birthday was a couple of weeks ago. At dinner, Cathy gave me a hand-written birthday letter that I love. Her words that have stayed with me? “How does one encapsulate so many years? You Don’t. You live in the present and move to the future. The past is window dressing.”
The night of my birthday, we went out for dinner at one of our favorite local restaurants, Field and Main. As we were having a cocktail, Cathy gave me my birthday “letter”. It talked about our lives together, aging, and particularly this past year. I won’t go into detail, but this year has had its challenges. I loved the letter. In her honest way, Cath summed up so much, and gave me so much with the letter.
My favorite part came about halfway through. Talking about my birthday, and all of our years together, Cathy said “How does one encapsulate so many years? You don’t. You live in the present and move to the future. The past is window dressing.”
What a true statement. From the dictionary – Window Dressing – 1: the act of decorating and arranging products to display in a store window. 2: something intended to make a person or thing seem better or more attractive but does not have any real importance or effect.
Isn’t that accurate? “Does not have any real importance or effect”. Certainly we are all products of our past, and I know I love telling stories of the past, but you can’t live there. You need to live in the present and look to the future. Otherwise, what’s the point? If you stay buried in the past, what is the future?
Thanks to Cathy for a lovely birthday evening and a letter I’m saving. Her words of wisdom are something all of us could use as an occasional reminder.
Live life exuberantly – Live in the present and move to the future.
Cathy, Living in the Present, the Night of my Birthday.
I’m one of those guys who, although not always in a timely fashion, notices milestones in my life. It turns out this Valentine’s Day is the 51st Cathy and I have shared. Yea, our first was in 1973, when we were both students at Ottawa High School.
Cath and I in the OHS Yearbook for ‘73
At the time, we had been dating for about eight months. I have no memory of what we did on that momentous occasion. Cathy doesn’t either. 🙂
At Homecoming Dance, a few Months Before our First Valentine’s Day.
When I was at West Point, with Cathy in DC, we were always apart and sent letters or cards to each other for the big day. (You remember letters don’t you?) Later in the ‘80s during our tours of duty in Germany with the Army, I’m sure we were separate on at least half of those Valentine’s Day, with me deployed on maneuvers or Temporary Duty somewhere. We probably enjoyed a celebratory dinner after I returned home, but again, I don’t remember.
It’s only since the ‘90s and civilian life that I think we’ve regularly celebrated Valentine’s Day. I know we did trips away or dinners out at nice restaurants several times. Later, we became tired of the rush and crowding of restaurants and celebrated more at home. A nice dinner – steaks, or a special pasta dish, or maybe a cheese and charcuterie board with champagne in front of the fireplace. Sometimes there were gifts, sometimes not.
I was thinking about our past celebrations, as I’ve seen ads in the lead-up to Valentine’s Day this year – Godiva or Ferrero Rocher chocolates; flower delivery services; special cards from Hallmark; sexy underwear; and of course, jewelry, including Kay’s and Pandora. The New York Times even ran an article about “The 31 best Valentine’s Day gifts for her”. One of the “great” things about America is we always find a way to make a buck off of anything.
More Suggestions of Chocolate, Underwear, Flowers and Fake Flowers.
I took a further trip down memory lane and reread our wedding vows. We had dutifully recited, as many couples do, “For better, for worse; For richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; … as long as we both shall live…” I also reread what Reverend Fred Fullerton*, my high school classmate and the minister at our wedding, asked for in prayer concerning our marriage: “strengthen and deepen it through time… steady it by toil… crown it with greatness through self-discipline… purify it in the crucible of our inevitable human pain…”
Fred’s Thoughtful Prayer for our Marriage and Life Together.
We’ve certainly seen for better and worse, trying financial times and our fair share of sickness. I like to think our love has strengthened and deepened over time and we have constantly worked at our marriage over our years together. Challenges and pain have happened, as they inevitably do. As is always the case, how we respond to those challenges is more important than the challenge itself.
In the past year, we’ve had constant reminders of both the joy and the fragility of life. We have celebrated good times with family and friends. We’ve also witnessed deaths with some of those same friends and family members. We’ve confronted new injuries and diseases, both our own and other folk’s. Lately, our lives seem to be on one of those roller coasters all of us occasionally experience.
51 years. Cripes, that’s over half a century. We still enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day and I think have learned to take nothing in life for granted. This year, we are staying home and will keep it simple – Steak Diane and a nice red wine. We’ll celebrate our past. And then, we’ll clink our glasses and toast our future together for as long as we both shall live.
I love you hon….
Addendum:
Reverend Fred Fullerton was my good friend and high school classmate in the OHS class of ‘73. He was also our class president. He became a minister in the Nazarene Church. We are very proud to have been the first marriage service he preformed.
My walking companion for the past nine years is sidelined. Carmen needed surgery last week to repair a ruptured ligament in her left rear leg. We went down this road with a previous dog, Holly, and are familiar with the journey. It doesn’t make it any less distressing for the three of us.
Carmen in Happier Times.
Yep, nine years of walking together came to an end about ten days ago. Our neighbors haven’t done a good job of managing their dog Kylie and keeping him under control*. I actually like Kylie. He’s a Golden Retriever and friendly enough. The problem is, after two years they still don’t keep Kylie at home. They “think” they do; the reality is something else and Kylie wanders. Ten days ago, we found him in our yard again playing roughly with Carmen and jumping on her. It wasn’t done meanly, but he outweighs her by 25 pounds. I sent him home, and then noticed Carmen limping. That night the limp worsened and the next morning, she wouldn’t put weight on the leg. That’s when we went to the vet.
Evaluations, tests, X-rays … the results came back. She needed surgery for a torn ligament in her leg. We were lucky there was a cancellation for another patient and scheduled her surgery for the following Wednesday.
X-ray of Camen’s Knee, and an Explanation of the Surgery.
The first morning after the doctor’s initial evaluation was a challenge. I took her outside on a leash to do her business. She gave me a look as I put on the leash – “Well, this is strange.” As she did a three-legged hop down the driveway, she became visibly upset and stopped in her tracks when I diverted her onto the grass to potty. “What?! What are you doing?! We ALWAYS walk to the barn in the morning!” I had no way of explaining this was for her own good and I was just looking out for her. After she finished, I carried her back towards the house, before putting her on the ground. She dutifully hopped into the house on her three good legs.
She’s a good dog, and a brave dog. I hated seeing her hop around as a tripod before the surgery. There were no complaints. Just the sad look in her eyes when I left the house without her to go for a walk, or to clean the horse stalls. I knew she’d happily try to three-leg-hop for two miles with me if I let her. She doesn’t understand, of course.
Wednesday came and the surgery went well. She had a procedure called a TPLO**. Our surgeon, DR Nicholson let us know, “Carmen did great!” Bringing her home, the first day was tough for all three of us. Carmen was out of it and mostly slept. We were able to get her to drink a little water and take her pain pills with a little peanut butter, but that was it. She didn’t want to stir and we didn’t force it. Finally, it was time for bed. She was sleeping so soundly, we didn’t take her out.
Knocked Out the First Night.
I slept on the couch that night, and her bed was nearby. Around 3AM I woke and sensed something. I looked to my right and Carmen was sitting up, looking at me. After putting her leash on, I carried her outside and gently put her down. She tripodded a bit and then urinated. She hopped a dozen steps or so, and then poo’d as well. I carried her back inside, gave her a treat and some more water and we shared a look. That’s when I knew she was going to be OK.
We both slept in the next morning. After feeding the horses, I returned and a while later, Carmen stirred. Cath and I both greeted her and she gave us a small tail wag. A brief walk outside to do her business, then some water, a little food, and more pills.
Later, we looked at each other again. It was time to start rehab and so we did. She tripodded out for another pee, and then we did our first Physical Therapy (PT) session – a five minute walk. Two more PT sessions followed that day. Also, we now had to occasionally use an Elizabethan Collar*** to keep her from licking her stitches.
Carmen in Her Elizabethan Collar.
She slept through the next night and in the morning, we walked to the barn. Well, I walked and she hopped. She was happy back at the barn and sniffed around. We fed the horses and returned to the house. Our first PT session of the 2nd day was complete.
Doing PT.
Time passed and by day three post-surgery, she was more normal and more alert. PT continued and she put more weight on her leg. It was a warm February day, and what she really wanted was a chance to lay in the sun like the old days, pre-injury. We both spent some time soaking up rays.
Sometimes, a Little Warm Sunshine Helps as Much as PT
Over the next several days, Cath and I both spent time exercising Carmen. We do our three sessions a day religiously and you can see her improving. She is using the injured leg more as she walks. As a patient, her attitude is great. We should all be so enthusiastic when we need to do PT after injuries or surgery.
And so it begins. The first week is in the books. We have goals and checkpoints along the way – the three-week mark; the 6-8 week time period; three months… With hard work, good luck and God’s grace, Carmen will be “normal” in five to six months.
Right now, we’re taking it one day at a time.
Addendum:
* After the first vet visit, I had a not particularly pleasant conversation with Kylie’s owner. He was “surprised” Kylie was still coming to our place and was sorry (I called bullshit – Kylie is at our place at least once a week and visits other neighbors as well). I told him he needed to control Kylie – A fence, an underground fence, or only letting Kylie out when he was with him. If I saw Kylie on our property again, we would have an issue. He agreed. Of course, Kylie was on our property again two days later. I let the owner know if I saw Kylie again, I would call animal control. He assured me they are putting in a fence and for now, Kylie wouldn’t be outside unless tied up. We’ll see. I don’t hate Kylie or hold him responsible. I do put blame on his owners. It’s never good when your dog needs to go through surgery. It’s a bit sad when it was avoidable. Too little too late, as they say. Maybe I should have been an ass about Kylie earlier.
** TPLO Surgery – You can’t really repair a dog’s ligaments. Instead, they now do something called Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy (TPLO) surgery, a major advancement in the treatment of ligament rupture. “This surgery changes the angle and relationship between the thigh bone (femur) and the shin bone (tibia). The overall intent of the surgery is to reduce the amount the tibia shifts forward during a stride. This is accomplished by making a semicircular cut through the top of the tibia, rotating the top of the tibia, and using a bone plate to allow the tibia to heal. This realignment of the surfaces within the knee (stifle) helps to provide stability during a stride and helps to reduce future joint inflammation and osteoarthritis. By carefully adjusting the angle or slope of the top of the tibia, surgeons can create a more normal configuration of the knee joint and reduce mechanical stress.” You can learn more here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibial-plateau-leveling_osteotomy
*** I like “Elizabethan Collar” or E-Collar so much better than “Cone of Shame”. No need to make fun of them when they are vulnerable.
The last time I saw Tim, I was back in Ottawa for my Brother-in-Law Jack’s funeral. I didn’t know it would be the last time, although I suspected it might. Mark, Howard and I were invited to Tim and Renee’s home for a lunch of Mooseburgers, with Tim serving as grill master.
Cath and I had visited Tim and Renee a few weeks before, while in Ottawa for my 50th high school reunion. After flying into Chicago, we stopped by and spent a few hours at their place in St Charles. It was good to catch up. They were supposed to make the reunion as well, but couldn’t. At the time, Tim was a 4+ year pancreatic cancer survivor, but things were going downhill the last couple of months prior to the reunion.
When Jack died of brain cancer a couple of weeks later, I returned for his services and to see my sister Roberta. I called Tim and Renee to see if we might get together, and I think Tim came up with the idea of the group lunch. Old buddies, Mark and Howard were invited and both quickly said yes. The five of us met on the 14th of October.
Tim, Howard and I have known each other since before kindergarten. Mark came on the scene around 5th grade and we have all been buddies ever since. As to Renee, Tim and Renee met through Cath and I in the early ‘90s. What started as friendship turned into love, and they married.
Tim and Renee’s Wedding.
The lunch was a good time. Renee made some wonderful appetizers and our conversations were wide-ranging. Yes, we talked about Tim’s cancer, but we also talked about the Bears and the White Sox, and as is inevitable when together, retold stories from our youth and good times together over the years.
After a while, Tim shuffled out to the grill and cooked the Mooseburgers. They’d brought the ground moose back last summer from their annual vacation to their place in Maine. I believe a cousin shot the moose and gave them some of the burger. Renee let us know that although he was weaker, Tim insisted on cooking. The burgers were great, and cooked perfectly. There was more talk and Tim, his voice somewhat raspy, eventually grew tired. It was time to go. We hugged Renee, fist-bumped Tim and said our goodbyes and “I love you’s”. Mark drove north to Wisconsin, while Howard and I headed south. It was the last time all of us were together.
Mooseburgers
Tim and I continued to text almost daily after that. The last one from him was on November 8th, when he congratulated me on the Virginia election results. After that, the link went silent. Cath and I stayed in contact with Renee and others, and knew Tim’s condition was worsening. Late on the night of December 4th, Renee called and let us know Tim passed away. After talking a while longer, I sent our love her way and hung up the phone. I silently cried dry tears.
I’ve known Tim for about 65 of my 68 years. Tim…June…Junebug… There are so many stories. Although I know there are groans in some quarters when we re-tell them for the 1,000th time, they still bring a smile to my face. In my mind, rather than a film, I see thousands of snapshots of our times together. The number of actual photos is more limited. Unlike now, back in the day we didn’t have the technology, or the desire, to capture everything going on. I think our lives are a little richer for that.
The “snapshots” of those times blur together. Some of the memories are blurry as well, while others are crystal clear. They span two continents, several states and seven decades.
I can turn the kaleidoscope of those decades in my mind and several pictures emerge – earning my God And Country Scout award in ‘68 with Tim and Howard; Tim, Howard and Mark serving as groomsmen for Cathy’s and my wedding in ‘78; multiple visits by Tim and Howard to our home in Germany in the ‘80s; introducing Tim and Renee in the ‘90s and then they married; ski trips to West Virginia in the ‘90s and 2000s with Tim never leaving the cabin; wonderful Bordeaux Dinners at Tim and Renee’s home near Chicago in the 201Xs; all four couples together at Camp Kishauwa in ‘22.
Tim, Howard and I Receiving our God and Country Awards.
I turn the kaleidoscope a second time and different pictures emerge – in the 60s, Tim and I in Boy Scouts sharing a tent at Camp Kishauwa; the Ottawa Gluttons eating team at OHS in ‘73; shipping a keg of bier from Germany to Tim in Chicago in ‘86; visiting Tim and Howard at their iconic Chicago apartment on numerous occasions in the ‘90s; New Year’s Eve dinners at the farm with Tim and Renee in ‘99 and the 2000s; Cath and I visiting Tim and Renee’s beloved Maine for a vacation; endlessly talking and texting about politics and history during Covid.
At Howard and Tim’s Apartment in Chicago in the Early ‘90s.
I rotate the kaleidoscope again and more memories race through my mind – Mrs Finkeldye’s first grade class; drinking biers at the Butler’s House in our high school years; church youth fellowship; Tim saving me from the MPs in Germany; Tim sleeping on the couch with our dog, Top; Tim and Renee with Cath and I skinny dipping in Lost River; Tim and Renee at the Hash; Tim, Howard, Mark and I decades ago on a New Year’s Eve at 3AM in a picture forever frozen in time – all of us young, with our whole lives in front of us…
New Year’s Eve 1978.
There were no photos taken of us at the Mooseburger lunch. We didn’t need or want any. What I’ll remember is the fellowship and love of old friends spending a few hours together. I’ll always remember that lunch. Always. The memory of it will spark a kaleidoscope of images – an endless stream of snapshots in an infinite number of combinations.
In the ‘80s when we lived in Germany, several family members and friends visited us. To “help” them overcome jet lag, we made sure the first couple of days were action packed with eating, drinking and activities to keep them occupied. It almost proved one friend’s undoing in 1987 […] Continue here: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2023/09/12/tim-and-bobbys-visit/
The night wasn’t supposed to happen. As a matter of fact, in today’s post 9-11 world, it couldn’t happen. They never would have made it through security. But in 1991? Yea, my buddies Howard and June sprung me from O’Hare Airport during a layover, and we had an unexpected night in Chicago. It was July 2nd, 1991 and I’d been in Omaha, Nebraska running tests on the President’s “other plane” for […] Continue at: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2021/06/30/an-accidental-night-in-chicago/
This slightly blurry photo from New Years Eve, 1978 captures Mark, Howard, Tim and me. We are, perhaps, slightly inebriated. Our youth has passed, and our adult lives stretch in front of us. Looking at the picture now, 42 years later, I think about our friendship and the transience of […] Continue at: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2020/12/27/old-friends-dunny-howard-june-and-ben/
In 1988, Cath and I enjoyed a ski vacation in the village of Ischgl, Austria, known for both its skiing, and its Après-ski activities. It also presented the opportunity to ski from Austria to Switzerland, as long as we brought our passports. As is usual, Cathy had the last word after we completed the run.
While stationed in Germany in the ‘80s, we took many ski vacations to Austria, sometimes for a long weekend, sometimes for a week. We often went with our friends Jim and Res to the Austrian town of Nauders on the Italian border. The skiing was great there and we enjoyed many fun trips with them.
Good Times With Jim and Res on One of Our Ski Trips.
In ‘88, Jim and Res couldn’t get away, so we decided to go on our own and try a new location. We eventually settled on Ischgl, a village in Austria’s Paznaun Valley with nearly 150 miles of groomed downhill trails. It’s also known as something of a party town with a multitude of Après-ski bars, clubs and restaurants.
We had a great time that week and the town lived up to both its ski and Après reputation. We would ski in the morning, have lunch and a bier at a restaurant on the mountainside, and then ski all afternoon. Eventually, we skied our way back to town and stopped at different places for a drink. Afterwards, we walked to our Gasthaus, cleaned up and went out for dinner, and maybe dancing later. Finally, we’d make it to bed, sleep like the dead, and then do the same thing the next day. It was wonderful, and an easy thing to do when in your early thirties.
Cathy Catching Some Rays on the Slope at Lunch One Day
We learned we could ski from Ischgl, across the border and into the duty-free town of Samnaun, Switzerland. As the crow flies, about 10 kilometers separate the two towns, but It’s farther when skiing. Looking at the map, the route was a combination of ski lifts and Blue and Red trails. (in Europe, Blue are considered easy and Red are intermediate trails). Although we didn’t need passports to enter Switzerland, we would need them to re-enter Austria. We decided to give it a go the next day and have lunch in Samnaun, before returning to Austria.
Ischgl on the Right. Samnaun on the Left.
It was a perfect day with a blue sky as we started towards Samnaun. Through a combination of skiing and a couple of chairlifts, we arrived at the red trail heading into Switzerland. As we descended, it was nice skiing, but then we came upon an icy, relatively steep cat-track, connecting on its far side to a steep descent to the village of Samnaun. Several people stopped there gathering their breath, before continuing. The mountain was on the right side of the track. On the left side, the ground dropped rapidly away into an unskiable valley. As we were watching, many people had problems on the ice and were falling, so some caution was warranted. We were about ready to go when someone came zooming down the slope from above, cut his skis into the snow and ice to turn onto the cat-track and… the skis didn’t grab the ice. Instead of turning, he shot off the side of the mountain, traveled through the air for about 40 feet, and then landed 20 feet below the trail in the snow. Hmmmm.
That caught our attention, particularly Cathy’s. The guy was OK, but now needed to find one of his skis and then climb back up the side of the valley to reach the trail. He couldn’t ski out from where he was.
We watched awhile longer, and then I said to Cath it was time to go. She disagreed and wanted to wait a little longer. More time went by and Cathy still wasn’t quite ready. Finally, I said something like “We can’t stay here, and we can’t go back up. The only way out is down the cat-track.” Eventually we started and slowly made our way. Cathy reverted to snow-plowing and her edges grabbed on the ice. After what seemed like forever, but in reality was probably two or three minutes, we made it past the cat-track. A few people were crashing and burning around us, but we had nary a fall. All that was left was the final descent.
We stood there congratulating ourselves and I pulled out my flask for us to share a short shot of brandy. I filled the cap about half full and handed it to Cathy. She looked in the cap and said, “Really? Do you think I could have a double?!” We both laughed and I filled the cap to the brim. She shot it down, handed it back, and took off on the final descent into Samnaun. After pouring myself a short one, I put away the flask and tore after her, eventually catching up. While the slope was a little steep, the snow was good and we arrived in town without mishap.
Cathy on the Slope.
We took off our skis and found a nice looking Gasthaus. I don’t remember what we ate, but the bier we drank with lunch tasted awfully good. After lingering a while and doing a little shopping, we took a cable car back up the mountain. Following a short ski, and then an additional chairlift ride further up, we arrived at the border crossing into Austria, where we dutifully presented our passports.
Once through customs, we skied down the slope into Austria. We made a couple more runs, and decided to call it quits. It had been a tiring day.
We skied into town to a bar/restaurant we discovered earlier in the week, and after stacking our skis outside, walked in. The place was quite crowded. We found a small table, settled in, and ordered biers along with a couple of Poire Williams*, a French eau de vie (we called them Poor Willies).
As we sipped our biers, the band began playing and their first song was The Stones’ “Satisfaction”. We, along with half the crowd, jumped on the dance floor and started dancing in our ski boots. As we were dancing, the crowd, a mishmash of Austrians, Germans, French, Dutch, Italians and others from who knows where, were all singing at the top of their lungs “I CAN’T GET SNOW… SATISFACTION!” It was one of those perfect moments you can never replicate, but forever remains clear as a bell in your mind’s eye. To this day, I feel my boots hitting the floor in time with the music, hear the crowd singing to “Satisfaction” and see the look of laughter and love in Cathy’s eyes.
Eventually it was time to leave. We went outside to find our skis and make our way home. As we were standing there, Cathy grabbed her crotch with one hand and started pulling at her clothes. I burst out laughing and said, “What the hell are you doing?!” She looked me straight in the eye and answered, “I am adjusting my balls. I kicked that slope’s ass today!” With that, my wife threw her skis over her shoulder and started walking home.
Addendum:
Poire Williams is the name of a French eau de vie (literal translation – “water of life”), a clear brandy made from pears. Poire is the French word for pear, while Williams is the type of pear. In Germany and Austria, they make an equivalent bottling called Williams Birne Schnaps. Both are strong, and nothing like the peppermint schnapps we know here in America. Depending on the quality, you might either sip or shoot it.
It was raining as I left our West Point 45th reunion last Sunday. I took the longer, slower route home to Virginia rather than drive Interstate 95. Tired and emotionally spent, I didn’t trust myself on a route that would have more traffic. I knew I would be thinking about West Point, the reunion and my classmates.
And of course, that’s what happened. The reunion, mixed with memories of West Point and my time in the Army cycled through my brain. Was it really 45 years since we graduated? It turned out the answer was yes.
Due to health issues, Cathy didn’t make the trip (she’s OK). It was a tough choice for her not to go to this reunion, but it was the right decision. Having dated since high school, and marrying each other right after my graduation from West Point, she too made the journey through my time at the Academy and in the Army. We’ve known many of these folk for nearly fifty years and together we have attended every reunion since the fifteenth. If I were to pass away, she would be welcomed with open arms by my classmates at any event, and they would help her in any way they could.
On October 25th, the day before the official start of our reunion, someone noted online the conditions were a bit nicer than 40 years previously on the same date. That was the day Operation Urgent Fury, the United States intervention in Grenada began at dawn. Several members of our class* were in the 82D Airborne Division and a part of the operation. It was a reminder that although we were “Cold Warriors” against the Russians, many of our classmates spent time in combat around the globe.
CPT Marion Seaton in Grenada. “We Were Soldiers Once, and Young”.
I arrived early Thursday afternoon and the weekend passed in a blur. The reunion hotel was a little over an hour from West Point. With 500+ attendees, there are no hotels at West Point or in the immediate vicinity large enough to host a gathering of our class. As is always the case at these five year reunions, not unlike our days at West Point, they are jammed with activities. We joke about it of course, but it’s true. I’m doubtful many other college reunions have days starting at 6:45AM. ;-).
After arriving, I found Tony Matos, who had just arrived from New Hampshire. As importantly, Tony brought the 312 bottles of WhistlePig Whiskey we were going to distribute to classmates. Regular readers of this blog will recall that a group of us did a tasting at WhistlePig in Vermont last spring and bought two barrels (you can read about that tasting and why we did it at the link in the addendum). We dutifully transported the cases of whiskey to our distribution room and classmates started picking up their bottles. All were gone by Sunday morning.
The Successful Conclusion of Operation WhistlePig.
By Thursday night, things were in full swing. Around 300 classmates (about one third of our living class members) along with 250+ spouses, partners and family members were there. Dinner, drinks, and for some of us, cigars ensued. My time was divided between dinner with several of my company mates and then circling the rooms seeking out other old friends. Handshakes, hugs and toasts, along with conversations occurred several times – How are you? … Where’s Cathy – is she OK? … Do you remember … whatever happened to … where are you now … we have to do better at staying in touch … Eventually I made my way to bed and a restless night’s sleep.
On Friday morning, we boarded buses for West Point. Our destination was the Cadet Chapel. Our first event, and for me one that has grown increasingly important, was a memorial service honoring classmates who have passed away. At our fortieth reunion, 50 classmates were so honored. This time the number was 82, including my company mate Dan Zimmerman. At the fortieth reunion, Dan sat with Cathy and I at the memorial service. This time, his name was one of the 82 called out loud. I thought a lot about Z-Man during the service. I have to say, the meaning of “The Long Grey Line” has changed, grown and become more real with the passage of time.
Memorial Service at the Chapel.
After the service, my buddies Jay, Steve and I, along with many of our classmates, walked the half mile from the Chapel to Ike Hall, although I also noticed there were more classmates taking the provided buses. Age catches up with all of us at some point. At Ike Hall we had lunch, along with a class meeting and a presentation by the Supe (Superintendent), before eventually busing back to the hotel.
At the hotel, Tony, Gus, Bob, Bill and I resumed distributing the remaining WhistlePig bottles. Classmate Al Aycock was distributing bags of coffee – the beans spent time in one of our empty whiskey barrels before bagging. We repeatedly received thanks from classmates for the arduous journey we’d made to Vermont for the WhistlePig tasting the previous spring. ;-).
After a short fifteen minute nap, it was time to get ready for the formal dinner that evening. More good food, drinking, talking and dancing. Perhaps because this was day two, things were slightly slower than the night before. It wasn’t as rushed and more faces were familiar now.
Random Pictures From the Weekend.
Saturday morning came early. We boarded buses for West Point at, wait for it … 6:45AM. Yes, you read that right, 6:45 in the morning. It was for a good reason – Two regiments of the Corps of Cadets were having a parade at 9:00AM, and our entire class was a part of the reviewing party. I remember as a cadet having parades and passing in review for old grads during their reunions. To put things in perspective, in the fall of 1977 our Firstie (Senior) year, the class celebrating their 45th reunion was the Class of 1932. Yikes! Back then, while waiting to pass in review, we made jokes about the OLD GRADS and of course could never see ourselves on the other side of the parade ground in the future. I’m sure the same thing was happening on this Saturday, but I have to say they looked squared away when they marched past us.
The Corps of Cadets, Passing in Review.
The Army football game that afternoon was a forgettable loss, but something happened later that left a strong impression on me. After the game, Clem, one of my company mates and his wife Nancy hosted a post-game tailgate and several of us B3ers stopped by for a beer. Three Yearling (Sophomore) cadets were there as well – members of the Class of 2026. Talking with them and listening to them made me feel good about our future, and the future of this country. If they are any indication of the quality of current West Point cadets, we have nothing to worry about. The United States Army, and our Officer Corps are in good hands.
The last evening was special. There was no official event that night, and I was invited out to dinner by Jose Morales, one of the alumni from the Whistle Pig tasting in the spring. There were perhaps 18 of us at the dinner . Some I knew, some I didn’t. It didn’t matter. We were all one big happy family, talking, laughing, telling stories, eating and drinking.
One Big Happy Family at Saturday Night’s Dinner.
The next morning, I left for the drive home around 8AM. I’m not big on long goodbyes and wanted to hit the road. I spent the next six hours driving in the rain and thinking about the weekend. I wasn’t just thinking about the details of the weekend itself, as I recounted here. I was also thinking about this special brotherhood I have the great good fortune to be a member of. As time goes by, I cherish it more and more. I think we all do. It’s hard to explain to others who haven’t been a part of it.
We members of the West Point class of 1978 share a special bond that has only grown stronger with the passing of time. Yes, we still tell the old stories from cadet days, or our time in the Army, but it’s more than that. Those stories only represent the surface of our commonality. We rose to the call of Duty, Honor, Country as cadets and during our time defending this nation. Most of us have found ways to contribute to the greater good, even after our time in service to our nation ended.
As Plebes, we were required to memorize many things. Some mundane, some of no apparent use, and some that were important. One of those requirements was the song “The Corps”. As I grow older, the song’s lyrics speak to me more directly than when I was a cadet and first memorized them. We all know our time here on Earth is limited and we all need to make the most of the time we have. Grip hands indeed.
The Corps
Addendum:
* Classmate Marion Seaton provided the photo from Grenada. In his words, “Chuck Jacoby, Brent Holmes, Dale Tatarek and I were having the time of our lives on a little spice island 40 years ago this week. We were all part of the 82nd Airborne’s mission to secure the Island of Grenada. I was the C Battery 1/320 (Airborne) Artillery Commander. We were chuted up to parachute with our equipment into Grenada. Our original plan was for the 105 howitzers to be dropped from the C141B on the first pass and we would jump on the second pass over the Drop Zone. The jump would’ve been dangerous, certainly due to the hostile fire, but more importantly, because of the dispersion of the equipment and troops onto the ground. There was a huge body of water to our left and the Ocean to our right. We would’ve lost a lot of jumpers and equipment. Lucky for us, The Rangers jumped the day before from C130s below 400 feet. They secured the Drop Zone, so we were able to fly in rather than jump. Over the course of the battle, Charlie Battery fired 152 rounds in support of the Division and Rangers.”
Marion, A Bit Before his Unit’s Jump into Grenada was Cancelled.
Dale and Jan Hamby were in charge of this reunion overall and did a great job. While a host of people worked with and for them, our class owes them a debt for the wonderful time we enjoyed. Dale’s comments after the reunion were pretty spot on: “Personally, we are determined to do a better job staying in touch with those we were able to reconnect with this weekend. We hope you will too. The reunion reminded us how important these connections are, and life is just too short not to make them a priority. Besides that, it was so great to relive cherished memories that our kids don’t want to hear about for the 50th time!”
Here’s the blog from our whiskey tasting at WhistlePig: “We were on a mission to the WhistlePig Distillery in Vermont. Twelve classmates gathered to taste whiskey from five barrels. We would select two for the West Point Proud and Great, Class of ‘78 45th reunion this coming fall. We didn’t want to let our classmates down” […] Continue here: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2023/05/09/__trashed-2/
I recently received another email from my friend Bob in Ukraine: “Last night the air raid alarms went off about 2:30 am. We were hoping the attack was only another wave of the Iranian Shaheed drones, as the defenses are normally stopping 100% of those. But when the text of the warning came to my wife Vita’s phone, it was a major missile attack. The attack was targeting Kyiv directly.”
This is the second blog I’ve written about my friend Bob Pitts who lives near Kyiv, Ukraine. A link to the first blog is in the Addendum.
Bob’s email continued: “Six Kh-47M2 “Kinzhal” missiles were launched from six MiG-31K aircraft. The Kinzhal is Putin’s hypersonic missile that he has bragged about as being unstoppable. Making statements about it as some secret Russian technology America and the West can’t match.
BUT – Every one of them was shot down in the air, so I imagine there is some serious nervousness in the Kremlin right now. Someone has to go and tell Putin his magic hypersonic missiles are no longer effective – and also tell him he just wasted many millions on this attack. (They don’t have many of these left in stock to begin with). Before last night’s attack -> no one had been able to stop the Kinzhal missiles.
In addition to the Kinzhals, 9 Kalibr cruise missiles were launched from ships in the Black Sea, and three land-based missiles (S-400, “Iskander-M”). All of them were destroyed by the air defense forces of Ukraine.
The sound of the missile being hit was deafening- our windows and doors shook. The attack came from the South and so the defenses hit them near our town. Thankfully not directly over us, as there are reports of damage from falling debris.”
Debris Falling During the Recent Missile Attack on Kyiv.
I can’t quite imagine the heart-pounding you must feel going through an attack like that. And of course, some version of this has been happening for over a year now in Ukraine.
Throughout it all, we need to remember people also live their lives. In Bob and Vita’s case, that included celebrating their eighteenth wedding anniversary about a week after the big attack. They’ve lived in both America and Ukraine during those eighteen years and have been in Ukraine for the past two years.
Bob and Vita on Their Wedding Day, Eighteen Years Ago in Florida.
For their anniversary, they celebrated at Cafe’ Mimi in their hometown of Brovary, just outside of Kyiv. Katya, the chef/owner of Cafe’ Mimi made them an American carrot cake using Vita’s recipe – Bob says he has “had carrot cake all over the US and in many other countries and THIS one was the best I have EVER eaten -> better than my grandmother’s.” 😎
Katya’s Carrot Cake – Maybe, Better than Grandma’s?
We see stories of sharing life and love during the dangers of war over and over in both the real world and in fiction. The great novels “Doctor Zhivago” (Pasternak), “For Whom the Bell Tolls” (Hemingway), “A Time to Love and a Time to Die” (Remarque), or “From Here to Eternity” (Jones) showed us those love stories in fiction, but I like to think Bob and Vita’s story in real life gives them a good run for the money. Life goes on, even amid the struggles of wartime. Sometimes, all you really need is to be with the love of your life and enjoy a slice of carrot cake.
Sometimes, All You Really Need is The Love of Your Life, and a Slice of Carrot Cake.
We should all celebrate life as lovingly as Bob and Vita and remember to focus on what is truly important.
Addendum:
I received this email update from Bob yesterday after I’d already written this blog and just 12 hours before posting it:“The Russians have stepped up their missile attacks in the past few days. They appear to be in a panic that Ukraine successfully used the new British StormShadow missile to destroy a large troop and munitions hub just at the border (this had been out of range until now). Reports are that a trainload of 500+ new soldiers were destroyed along with all their armor and munitions … Last night was a massive missile attack – many of the missiles were the hypersonic ones we shot down 37 of 40 missiles and 29 of 35 drones. Then again today around noon another attack again with hypersonic / ballistic missiles. We shot down 11 of 11 … There was damage / injuries from falling debris and there were some deaths in rural areas – an elderly couple was killed when debris crushed the roof of their home … I think that the Russians know that they are in deep trouble. They know that we are about to hand them their butts on a platter very soon. That is why they are stepping up the frequency of attacks and making an all out worldwide propaganda and diplomacy push to push for the west to stop helping Ukraine.”
Thanks to my friend Bob for providing the material for this blog and for helping to edit. I’m so happy we have reconnected.
Bob has written a book about Ukraine called UKRAINE: THE AWAKENING: My 20 years of witnessing Ukrainians rediscover their nationhood. When the war began, he became concerned about how little westerners, especially Americans, understand about Ukraine, its people, its history and how the relationship with Russia is misinterpreted in Western media coverage. The book gives readers a view into Ukrainian culture and the beauty of the people. I’ve bought and read the book and recommend it – I’ll publish a short review in a future blog. Here’s a link to the book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/6qUppBU
Live Life Exuberantly 