Tag: #family

Carmen’s Surgery

Carmen’s Surgery

My walking companion for the past nine years is sidelined. Carmen needed surgery last week to repair a ruptured ligament in her left rear leg. We went down this road with a previous dog, Holly, and are familiar with the journey. It doesn’t make it any less distressing for the three of us.

Carmen in Happier Times.

Yep, nine years of walking together came to an end about ten days ago. Our neighbors haven’t done a good job of managing their dog Kylie and keeping him under control*. I actually like Kylie. He’s a Golden Retriever and friendly enough. The problem is, after two years they still don’t keep Kylie at home. They “think” they do; the reality is something else and Kylie wanders. Ten days ago, we found him in our yard again playing roughly with Carmen and jumping on her. It wasn’t done meanly, but he outweighs her by 25 pounds. I sent him home, and then noticed Carmen limping. That night the limp worsened and the next morning, she wouldn’t put weight on the leg. That’s when we went to the vet.

Evaluations, tests, X-rays … the results came back. She needed surgery for a torn ligament in her leg. We were lucky there was a cancellation for another patient and scheduled her surgery for the following Wednesday.

X-ray of Camen’s Knee, and an Explanation of the Surgery.

The first morning after the doctor’s initial evaluation was a challenge. I took her outside on a leash to do her business. She gave me a look as I put on the leash – “Well, this is strange.” As she did a three-legged hop down the driveway, she became visibly upset and stopped in her tracks when I diverted her onto the grass to potty. “What?! What are you doing?! We ALWAYS walk to the barn in the morning!” I had no way of explaining this was for her own good and I was just looking out for her. After she finished, I carried her back towards the house, before putting her on the ground. She dutifully hopped into the house on her three good legs.

She’s a good dog, and a brave dog. I hated seeing her hop around as a tripod before the surgery. There were no complaints. Just the sad look in her eyes when I left the house without her to go for a walk, or to clean the horse stalls. I knew she’d happily try to three-leg-hop for two miles with me if I let her. She doesn’t understand, of course.

Wednesday came and the surgery went well. She had a procedure called a TPLO**. Our surgeon, DR Nicholson let us know, “Carmen did great!” Bringing her home, the first day was tough for all three of us. Carmen was out of it and mostly slept. We were able to get her to drink a little water and take her pain pills with a little peanut butter, but that was it. She didn’t want to stir and we didn’t force it. Finally, it was time for bed. She was sleeping so soundly, we didn’t take her out.

Knocked Out the First Night.

I slept on the couch that night, and her bed was nearby. Around 3AM I woke and sensed something. I looked to my right and Carmen was sitting up, looking at me. After putting her leash on, I carried her outside and gently put her down. She tripodded a bit and then urinated. She hopped a dozen steps or so, and then poo’d as well. I carried her back inside, gave her a treat and some more water and we shared a look. That’s when I knew she was going to be OK.

We both slept in the next morning. After feeding the horses, I returned and a while later, Carmen stirred. Cath and I both greeted her and she gave us a small tail wag. A brief walk outside to do her business, then some water, a little food, and more pills.

Later, we looked at each other again. It was time to start rehab and so we did. She tripodded out for another pee, and then we did our first Physical Therapy (PT) session – a five minute walk. Two more PT sessions followed that day. Also, we now had to occasionally use an Elizabethan Collar*** to keep her from licking her stitches.

Carmen in Her Elizabethan Collar.

She slept through the next night and in the morning, we walked to the barn. Well, I walked and she hopped. She was happy back at the barn and sniffed around. We fed the horses and returned to the house. Our first PT session of the 2nd day was complete.

Doing PT.

Time passed and by day three post-surgery, she was more normal and more alert. PT continued and she put more weight on her leg. It was a warm February day, and what she really wanted was a chance to lay in the sun like the old days, pre-injury. We both spent some time soaking up rays.

Sometimes, a Little Warm Sunshine Helps as Much as PT

Over the next several days, Cath and I both spent time exercising Carmen. We do our three sessions a day religiously and you can see her improving. She is using the injured leg more as she walks. As a patient, her attitude is great. We should all be so enthusiastic when we need to do PT after injuries or surgery.

And so it begins. The first week is in the books. We have goals and checkpoints along the way – the three-week mark; the 6-8 week time period; three months… With hard work, good luck and God’s grace, Carmen will be “normal” in five to six months.

Right now, we’re taking it one day at a time.

Addendum:

  • * After the first vet visit, I had a not particularly pleasant conversation with Kylie’s owner. He was “surprised” Kylie was still coming to our place and was sorry (I called bullshit – Kylie is at our place at least once a week and visits other neighbors as well). I told him he needed to control Kylie – A fence, an underground fence, or only letting Kylie out when he was with him. If I saw Kylie on our property again, we would have an issue. He agreed. Of course, Kylie was on our property again two days later. I let the owner know if I saw Kylie again, I would call animal control. He assured me they are putting in a fence and for now, Kylie wouldn’t be outside unless tied up. We’ll see. I don’t hate Kylie or hold him responsible. I do put blame on his owners. It’s never good when your dog needs to go through surgery. It’s a bit sad when it was avoidable. Too little too late, as they say. Maybe I should have been an ass about Kylie earlier.
  • ** TPLO Surgery – You can’t really repair a dog’s ligaments. Instead, they now do something called Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy (TPLO) surgery, a major advancement in the treatment of ligament rupture. “This surgery changes the angle and relationship between the thigh bone (femur) and the shin bone (tibia). The overall intent of the surgery is to reduce the amount the tibia shifts forward during a stride. This is accomplished by making a semicircular cut through the top of the tibia, rotating the top of the tibia, and using a bone plate to allow the tibia to heal. This realignment of the surfaces within the knee (stifle) helps to provide stability during a stride and helps to reduce future joint inflammation and osteoarthritis. By carefully adjusting the angle or slope of the top of the tibia, surgeons can create a more normal configuration of the knee joint and reduce mechanical stress.” You can learn more here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibial-plateau-leveling_osteotomy
  • *** I like “Elizabethan Collar” or E-Collar so much better than “Cone of Shame”. No need to make fun of them when they are vulnerable.

Mooseburgers

Mooseburgers

The last time I saw Tim, I was back in Ottawa for my Brother-in-Law Jack’s funeral. I didn’t know it would be the last time, although I suspected it might. Mark, Howard and I were invited to Tim and Renee’s home for a lunch of Mooseburgers, with Tim serving as grill master.

Cath and I had visited Tim and Renee a few weeks before, while in Ottawa for my 50th high school reunion. After flying into Chicago, we stopped by and spent a few hours at their place in St Charles. It was good to catch up. They were supposed to make the reunion as well, but couldn’t. At the time, Tim was a 4+ year pancreatic cancer survivor, but things were going downhill the last couple of months prior to the reunion.

When Jack died of brain cancer a couple of weeks later, I returned for his services and to see my sister Roberta. I called Tim and Renee to see if we might get together, and I think Tim came up with the idea of the group lunch. Old buddies, Mark and Howard were invited and both quickly said yes. The five of us met on the 14th of October.

Tim, Howard and I have known each other since before kindergarten. Mark came on the scene around 5th grade and we have all been buddies ever since. As to Renee, Tim and Renee met through Cath and I in the early ‘90s. What started as friendship turned into love, and they married.

Tim and Renee’s Wedding.

The lunch was a good time. Renee made some wonderful appetizers and our conversations were wide-ranging. Yes, we talked about Tim’s cancer, but we also talked about the Bears and the White Sox, and as is inevitable when together, retold stories from our youth and good times together over the years.

After a while, Tim shuffled out to the grill and cooked the Mooseburgers. They’d brought the ground moose back last summer from their annual vacation to their place in Maine. I believe a cousin shot the moose and gave them some of the burger. Renee let us know that although he was weaker, Tim insisted on cooking. The burgers were great, and cooked perfectly. There was more talk and Tim, his voice somewhat raspy, eventually grew tired. It was time to go. We hugged Renee, fist-bumped Tim and said our goodbyes and “I love you’s”. Mark drove north to Wisconsin, while Howard and I headed south. It was the last time all of us were together.

Mooseburgers

Tim and I continued to text almost daily after that. The last one from him was on November 8th, when he congratulated me on the Virginia election results. After that, the link went silent. Cath and I stayed in contact with Renee and others, and knew Tim’s condition was worsening. Late on the night of December 4th, Renee called and let us know Tim passed away. After talking a while longer, I sent our love her way and hung up the phone. I silently cried dry tears.

I’ve known Tim for about 65 of my 68 years. Tim…June…Junebug… There are so many stories. Although I know there are groans in some quarters when we re-tell them for the 1,000th time, they still bring a smile to my face. In my mind, rather than a film, I see thousands of snapshots of our times together. The number of actual photos is more limited. Unlike now, back in the day we didn’t have the technology, or the desire, to capture everything going on. I think our lives are a little richer for that.

The “snapshots” of those times blur together. Some of the memories are blurry as well, while others are crystal clear. They span two continents, several states and seven decades.

I can turn the kaleidoscope of those decades in my mind and several pictures emerge – earning my God And Country Scout award in ‘68 with Tim and Howard; Tim, Howard and Mark serving as groomsmen for Cathy’s and my wedding in ‘78; multiple visits by Tim and Howard to our home in Germany in the ‘80s; introducing Tim and Renee in the ‘90s and then they married; ski trips to West Virginia in the ‘90s and 2000s with Tim never leaving the cabin; wonderful Bordeaux Dinners at Tim and Renee’s home near Chicago in the 201Xs; all four couples together at Camp Kishauwa in ‘22.

Tim, Howard and I Receiving our God and Country Awards.

I turn the kaleidoscope a second time and different pictures emerge – in the 60s, Tim and I in Boy Scouts sharing a tent at Camp Kishauwa; the Ottawa Gluttons eating team at OHS in ‘73; shipping a keg of bier from Germany to Tim in Chicago in ‘86; visiting Tim and Howard at their iconic Chicago apartment on numerous occasions in the ‘90s; New Year’s Eve dinners at the farm with Tim and Renee in ‘99 and the 2000s; Cath and I visiting Tim and Renee’s beloved Maine for a vacation; endlessly talking and texting about politics and history during Covid.

At Howard and Tim’s Apartment in Chicago in the Early ‘90s.

I rotate the kaleidoscope again and more memories race through my mind – Mrs Finkeldye’s first grade class; drinking biers at the Butler’s House in our high school years; church youth fellowship; Tim saving me from the MPs in Germany; Tim sleeping on the couch with our dog, Top; Tim and Renee with Cath and I skinny dipping in Lost River; Tim and Renee at the Hash; Tim, Howard, Mark and I decades ago on a New Year’s Eve at 3AM in a picture forever frozen in time – all of us young, with our whole lives in front of us…

New Year’s Eve 1978.

There were no photos taken of us at the Mooseburger lunch. We didn’t need or want any. What I’ll remember is the fellowship and love of old friends spending a few hours together. I’ll always remember that lunch. Always. The memory of it will spark a kaleidoscope of images – an endless stream of snapshots in an infinite number of combinations.

Rest in peace Tim. I love you.

Addendum:

Here are some previous blogs featuring Tim:

Snow Satisfaction

Snow Satisfaction

In 1988, Cath and I enjoyed a ski vacation in the village of Ischgl, Austria, known for both its skiing, and its Après-ski activities. It also presented the opportunity to ski from Austria to Switzerland, as long as we brought our passports. As is usual, Cathy had the last word after we completed the run.

While stationed in Germany in the ‘80s, we took many ski vacations to Austria, sometimes for a long weekend, sometimes for a week. We often went with our friends Jim and Res to the Austrian town of Nauders on the Italian border. The skiing was great there and we enjoyed many fun trips with them.

Good Times With Jim and Res on One of Our Ski Trips.

In ‘88, Jim and Res couldn’t get away, so we decided to go on our own and try a new location. We eventually settled on Ischgl, a village in Austria’s Paznaun Valley with nearly 150 miles of groomed downhill trails. It’s also known as something of a party town with a multitude of Après-ski bars, clubs and restaurants.

We had a great time that week and the town lived up to both its ski and Après reputation. We would ski in the morning, have lunch and a bier at a restaurant on the mountainside, and then ski all afternoon. Eventually, we skied our way back to town and stopped at different places for a drink. Afterwards, we walked to our Gasthaus, cleaned up and went out for dinner, and maybe dancing later. Finally, we’d make it to bed, sleep like the dead, and then do the same thing the next day. It was wonderful, and an easy thing to do when in your early thirties.

Cathy Catching Some Rays on the Slope at Lunch One Day

We learned we could ski from Ischgl, across the border and into the duty-free town of Samnaun, Switzerland. As the crow flies, about 10 kilometers separate the two towns, but It’s farther when skiing. Looking at the map, the route was a combination of ski lifts and Blue and Red trails. (in Europe, Blue are considered easy and Red are intermediate trails). Although we didn’t need passports to enter Switzerland, we would need them to re-enter Austria. We decided to give it a go the next day and have lunch in Samnaun, before returning to Austria.

Ischgl on the Right. Samnaun on the Left.

It was a perfect day with a blue sky as we started towards Samnaun. Through a combination of skiing and a couple of chairlifts, we arrived at the red trail heading into Switzerland. As we descended, it was nice skiing, but then we came upon an icy, relatively steep cat-track, connecting on its far side to a steep descent to the village of Samnaun. Several people stopped there gathering their breath, before continuing. The mountain was on the right side of the track. On the left side, the ground dropped rapidly away into an unskiable valley. As we were watching, many people had problems on the ice and were falling, so some caution was warranted. We were about ready to go when someone came zooming down the slope from above, cut his skis into the snow and ice to turn onto the cat-track and… the skis didn’t grab the ice. Instead of turning, he shot off the side of the mountain, traveled through the air for about 40 feet, and then landed 20 feet below the trail in the snow. Hmmmm.

That caught our attention, particularly Cathy’s. The guy was OK, but now needed to find one of his skis and then climb back up the side of the valley to reach the trail. He couldn’t ski out from where he was.

We watched awhile longer, and then I said to Cath it was time to go. She disagreed and wanted to wait a little longer. More time went by and Cathy still wasn’t quite ready. Finally, I said something like “We can’t stay here, and we can’t go back up. The only way out is down the cat-track.” Eventually we started and slowly made our way. Cathy reverted to snow-plowing and her edges grabbed on the ice. After what seemed like forever, but in reality was probably two or three minutes, we made it past the cat-track. A few people were crashing and burning around us, but we had nary a fall. All that was left was the final descent.

We stood there congratulating ourselves and I pulled out my flask for us to share a short shot of brandy. I filled the cap about half full and handed it to Cathy. She looked in the cap and said, “Really? Do you think I could have a double?!” We both laughed and I filled the cap to the brim. She shot it down, handed it back, and took off on the final descent into Samnaun. After pouring myself a short one, I put away the flask and tore after her, eventually catching up. While the slope was a little steep, the snow was good and we arrived in town without mishap.

Cathy on the Slope.

We took off our skis and found a nice looking Gasthaus. I don’t remember what we ate, but the bier we drank with lunch tasted awfully good. After lingering a while and doing a little shopping, we took a cable car back up the mountain. Following a short ski, and then an additional chairlift ride further up, we arrived at the border crossing into Austria, where we dutifully presented our passports.

Once through customs, we skied down the slope into Austria. We made a couple more runs, and decided to call it quits. It had been a tiring day.

We skied into town to a bar/restaurant we discovered earlier in the week, and after stacking our skis outside, walked in. The place was quite crowded. We found a small table, settled in, and ordered biers along with a couple of Poire Williams*, a French eau de vie (we called them Poor Willies).

As we sipped our biers, the band began playing and their first song was The Stones’ “Satisfaction”. We, along with half the crowd, jumped on the dance floor and started dancing in our ski boots. As we were dancing, the crowd, a mishmash of Austrians, Germans, French, Dutch, Italians and others from who knows where, were all singing at the top of their lungs “I CAN’T GET SNOW… SATISFACTION!” It was one of those perfect moments you can never replicate, but forever remains clear as a bell in your mind’s eye. To this day, I feel my boots hitting the floor in time with the music, hear the crowd singing to “Satisfaction” and see the look of laughter and love in Cathy’s eyes.

Eventually it was time to leave. We went outside to find our skis and make our way home. As we were standing there, Cathy grabbed her crotch with one hand and started pulling at her clothes. I burst out laughing and said, “What the hell are you doing?!” She looked me straight in the eye and answered, “I am adjusting my balls. I kicked that slope’s ass today!” With that, my wife threw her skis over her shoulder and started walking home.

Addendum:

  • Poire Williams is the name of a French eau de vie (literal translation – “water of life”), a clear brandy made from pears. Poire is the French word for pear, while Williams is the type of pear. In Germany and Austria, they make an equivalent bottling called Williams Birne Schnaps. Both are strong, and nothing like the peppermint schnapps we know here in America. Depending on the quality, you might either sip or shoot it.

Dad and Pearl Harbor

Dad and Pearl Harbor

It was December 6th, 1941. Dad, Noble and other men from B Company, 60th Regimental Combat Team of the 9th Infantry Division had weekend passes. They left Fort Bragg, North Carolina that Saturday for nearby Fayetteville. They didn’t know it yet, but the next day their world would change forever.

That weekend, Dad was a little over 18 years old and had been in the Army for about fifteen months. The 9th Infantry Division reactivated in August of 1940, and Dad joined the unit in September of that year, at the age of 16.

Dad (on the left) in 1941 in the Bravo Company Motor Pool.

In 1940, the population of Fort Bragg was 5,400. One year later, there were 67,000 troops at Bragg and Fayetteville was on the way to becoming a military town, with bars, clubs, restaurants and everything needed to “entertain” the troops, for better or worse.

Fayetteville, 1941.

Dad and the other boys of Company B received their weekend passes that fateful weekend and probably left Bragg around noon. Typical weekend passes went from noon on Saturday to 6PM on Sunday. They usually rented a room or two to use as a base for their partying. Over the years, he told me about some of those weekend passes. Real food, beer, clubs, blues, jazz, dancing and trying to link up with girls. They’d party into the night, and then the next day, after a big breakfast, party some more until they eventually returned to Post. I heard stories about fun times in North Carolina (Fayetteville and Charlotte) in Tunisia and Algeria, and late in the war back in Washington DC. Let’s just say, Dad knew how to party.

For this particular weekend, he didn’t tell me about any of that. What he talked about was the return to Fort Bragg late Sunday afternoon on December 7th.

Dad and several others were returning to the Post in a cab. I think he said there was a formation at 6PM for accountability purposes, but maybe they just had to sign back in. He and his friend, Noble, had partied it up pretty good and were a bit hungover. As they neared Fort Bragg, two things happened. First, traffic was backed up to drive onto the Post – they were checking IDs or checking IDs more closely than normal. Second – the cab driver turned on the car radio.

By 1940, AM radios were considered a standard feature in automobiles. The stations carried news, some radio shows and music. There weren’t lots of stations, and the programming wasn’t all that varied. This time however, the boys of Company B heard the words that would change their lives. An NBC announcer read the following statement, relayed earlier from station KGU in Hawaii:

  • BULLETIN: We have witnessed this morning the attack of Pearl Harbor and the severe bombing of Pearl Harbor by army planes that are undoubtedly Japanese. The city of Honolulu has also been attacked and considerable damage done. This battle has been going on for nearly three hours. One of the bombers dropped within fifty feet of Tanti Towers. It’s no joke -it’s a real war. The public of Honolulu has been advised to keep in their homes and away from the army and navy. There has been severe fighting going on in the air and on the sea …(There then was an interruption, followed by this) . . . We have no statement as to how much damage has been done but it has been a very severe attack. The army and the navy, it appears, now has the air and sea under control.

There is a five-hour time difference between Honolulu and the East Coast. The attack on Pearl Harbor started at 8AM and lasted about 90 minutes (not the three hours in the news bulletin). That means the attack ended about 9:30AM Honolulu time, or 2:30PM East Coast time. The Honolulu station was somewhat delayed in reporting the news, and then of course, in the pre-internet age, it took longer for stations in the Continental US to pick up the bulletin and rebroadcast it. My guess is Dad, Noble and the other guys were hearing this news around 4:30PM or so that afternoon.

What did they do at this point? Wait in the cab to drive onto Fort Bragg? Get out of the cab and run onto Fort Bragg? Leave the cab and start talking with the other gathering soldiers? None of those things happened.

Instead, they directed the cabbie to make a U-Turn and drive back to Fayetteville. They were going to hit the bars again, even though they would be Absent Without Leave (AWOL) and miss the evening formation. They knew instantly this was going to be a shooting war, training was going to get tougher and opportunities to leave Post become slimmer. They weren’t going to miss this chance for a last shebang.

Dad and Noble in ‘41 or Early ‘42 on a Different Weekend Pass.

And of course, when they returned to Fayetteville, they weren’t alone. Soldiers were everywhere drinking and partying. I think Dad said he thought half his battalion was in town. They joined the crowd and partied into the evening. There was a great deal of talk about when and where they would deploy.

Eventually, they returned to Bragg late that night. According to Dad lots of guys had hangovers at morning formation on Monday, December 8th, but nothing was really done about them missing the evening formation. There was too much work to do.

On the evening of the 8th, President Roosevelt gave his famous “A Day which will live in Infamy” speech to a joint session of Congress. The speech was broadcast live by radio and attracted the largest audience in American radio history, with over 80% of Americans allegedly tuning in to hear it.

President Roosevelt Speaking to Congress on Dec 8, 1941.

Eleven months to the day later, on November 8th, 1943, the men of the 60th Regimental Combat Team, including Dad and Noble, landed on the beach under fire in North Africa at Port Lyautey, Morocco as a part of Operation Torch. The counteroffensive had started against the Axis powers in the European Theater of Operations.

When dad joined the Army in 1940, it was for a three-year hitch. It would be 5 years before he was honorably discharged in August of 1945. He took part in the invasions of North Africa and Sicily, where he was wounded and almost died. I think partying several extra hours on the evening of December 7th was probably justified.

— Never Forget —

Addendum:

  • In 1940, the population of Fort Bragg was 5,400. By the following year, it reached 67,000. Various units trained at Fort Bragg during World War II, including the 9th Infantry Division, the 82D Airborne Division, the 100th Infantry Division, the 2nd Armored Division and various field artillery groups. The population reached a peak of 159,000 during the war years. This past year, Fort Bragg was renamed Fort Liberty.
  • Here is one other Pearl Harbor blog I’ve done: The plaque is only a small one, over in front of The South Ottawa Town-Hall on 1st Avenue. The Hall is still used for occasional meetings, but 1st Avenue is pretty sleepy in that area, so I don’t know how many people actually ever see the plaque. When I walk by, the words always compel me to stop. And think. And remember … Herman Koeppe was 19 the day he died […] https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/30/never-forget/

Cranberries à la Dad

Cranberries à la Dad

Thanksgiving, that truly American holiday, is approaching and started me to thinking about Dad and his Cranberry Sauce. It’s a great recipe filled with bourbon, cranberries, shallots, orange zest and memories. I love the fact that I get to spend a little time with Dad whenever I make it.

Cranberries, Bourbon, Orange Zest and Shallots…

Growing up in the Hall house in Ottawa, Illinois, Thanksgiving and Christmas were nearly identical meals – turkey, dressing, oyster dressing, mashed potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, corn and green bean casserole. The desserts – pumpkin pie, mincemeat pie and if we were lucky, strawberry-rhubarb pie, were all made by my Aunt Marge, a wonderful baker. Sometimes we would have a cherry pie from Aunt Diane – the cherries were from a tree in her yard. For snacks ahead of time, there were black olives and pickles (when young, my sisters put the olives on the ends of their fingers and then ate them off). There was cranberry sauce served as well – sliced out of the can.

I remember both meals as large loud affairs – Grandma, uncle Don and aunt Diane and their kids would be there. Various uncles or aunts stopping by for a slice of pie and cup of coffee after their own meals. Roberta and Tanya’s friend Marsali would inevitably stop over. Later when we were older my buddies Howard and Tim stopped in for a drink (to settle the stomach) after their own dinners.

Both meals were delicious and mostly made by mom. The kitchen was her domain. She often joked she actually spent more money on the oysters for the oyster dressing than she did on the turkey, and that’s saying something. I never thought to ask why we had exactly the same meal for both occasions and was somewhat shocked when I later learned other families served steaks or some other non-turkey meal for Christmas.

Everything for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner was homemade – except for the cranberry sauce. Growing up in the midwest, I think that was fairly typical – canned cranberry sauce, sliced into equal, perfectly round slices.

Sliced Cranberry Sauce. Please, No Judgement.

That changed one year, probably around 1984 or so when Dad retired from work. After he retired from the railroad, mom continued to work another seven years until she reached retirement age. As a result, Dad took over much of the cooking at home.

Cath and I were home for Christmas that year and dad had a surprise for us – homemade cranberry sauce! We all oohed and ahhhed over those cranberries and how good they were. Now mind you, mom was still making the entire rest of the meal (with help from my sisters by this point in time), but Dad now had his contribution as well. I think it came from a Bon Appétit recipe he tweaked slightly.

And so, Cranberries à la Dad became a part of the tradition for both Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Mom, Dad and I around the Time He Started Making his Cranberry Sauce Recipe.

It’s carried on at Cath’s and my home for Thanksgiving as well, although these days, we are having Thanksgiving with friends at their homes as often as not. The recipe is easy to follow, and cooks quickly. Still, I enjoy the few minutes it allows me to spend with Dad. As I smell the bourbon reducing and hear the snapping and popping sound of the cranberries opening, I reminisce and think about the good times we enjoyed with Dad over the years. It’s not a bad way to spend a half hour or 45 minutes.

You can Hear the Cranberries as They Sizzle and Pop While Opening.

Here’s the recipe. You have plenty of time before the big day to buy the ingredients. I usually make it the day before Thanksgiving while sipping on a small glass of bourbon, but the morning of works as well, if there’s room for you in the kitchen. For a chunkier look, don’t let all of the cranberries burst. Cranberries, bourbon, shallots, orange zest and memories – it’s a recipe that works.

Enjoy!

Addendum:

  • Thanks to my sisters, Roberta and Tanya, for their input to this blog. It’s always great to share memories with those you love.

Autumn Walks

Autumn Walks

As I walk and wander through the nearby woods this fall, I find my mind wandering as well. It is autumn in the autumn of my life and I feel the passage of time. Death and decline are both more evident, and not quite the strangers they once were.

A Walk in the Woods on an Autumn Day.

It is not my own death I contemplate or fear. I have made peace with who I am, what I am, and where I am. I’ve had a good and lucky life with little to complain about. When my time comes, I hope I have the courage to accept my blessings and be thankful for the life I’ve lived.

Rather, it is the death and decline of others that I’ve been dwelling on during my walks. I think of friends or family members taken too soon and though they are now at peace, those of us left behind in this world feel the sadness and emptiness of their passing. What we wouldn’t give for one more hug, one more smile, one more drink together, or one more conversation.

For some, death has come suddenly and unexpectedly. For others, we have marked their decline, whether from old age, cancer, or some other disease. Fighters all, they eventually succumb, whether after months, or a decade. And for some lucky few, they live a good life into old age before peacefully slipping away.

I’ve thought about that last paragraph a bit. How do we measure time’s passing, and how do we measure time passing in our relationships with others?

If I do die suddenly, whether tomorrow or in five years, I would tell my friends and family do not mourn me. Instead, keep my memory alive, tell stories about me or drink a toast to me. I’ve had a good life. Don’t be sad at my passing, but rejoice at the life I was able to live.

If I fall into decline, for whatever reason, I pray I have the grace to continue to love and treasure those around me, no matter my fears of what is coming, or the pain I am in. I know that caregivers often suffer as much, or more than the person they are giving care to. I hope that I am able to continue to love and appreciate those doing their best to help me. I know that is sometimes a difficult thing to do.

And if I’m one of the lucky few who live well to a ripe old age before peacefully slipping away? If my old friends, my wife, my family were to precede me in death, I would want to honor each of them and keep their memory alive. I also know I would want to continue to live, and grow, and celebrate each day. To go for walks, talk with other friends, stay active, and challenge my mind and body to the best of my abilities. I think that is how I could best honor them, until my own time here on earth ends.

Walking in the woods on an autumn day – it’s funny where your mind sometimes goes. Two thousand years ago, the Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius* said, “Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart”. I think his words still ring true.

Addendum:

⁃ *Marcus Aurelius in current times may be best known as the Emperor in the Movie Gladiator who is killed early in the film and gives Rome to Maximus, played by Russell Crowe. If you want to know the real Marcus Aurelius, I suggest you pick up his book, Meditations. It is a short read and filled with wisdom.

The Bears Den

The Bears Den

The Bears Den in Naplate, Illinois is a great little dive bar. I mean that in the best sense of the word. It’s an older place and hasn’t been updated in years. On a recent trip back home to Ottawa, we stopped in on a Sunday afternoon for lunch and Bloody Marys. We all should have such a good local place.

Naplate, a town of just over 400 people, probably has more restaurants and bars per capita than any town in America*. They are all small local places. Some more bar oriented, and some more food oriented. All have their devoted fans and regulars from Naplate, or the surrounding area. Over the years we’ve enjoyed several of them, including Casa Mia, Annie’s Hideaway, and of course, The Bears Den.

The Bears Den – It’s Been Around Awhile.

A few years ago, a really bad tornado ripped through Naplate and parts of Ottawa and Naplate were destroyed. Although Naplate restaurants were ordered closed in the immediate aftermath, The Bears Den stayed open providing food for the folk doing the cleanup and damage control. They were giving back to the community in a big way.

A couple of weeks ago we were back in Ottawa to see family and go to a reunion. We spent Saturday night with my sister Tanya and Brother-in-Law Shawn and on Sunday morning were discussing what to do. Cath previously mentioned possibly going to The Bears Den for Bloodies, and we all quickly agreed that was a great idea. It had been a few years since we were able to stop in there and we were looking forward to a good time. Shawn, the smart one among us, checked to see what time the Bears were playing that day. When they are on TV, it’s standing room only at the Den, and we wanted to avoid that. Fortunately, the game didn’t start until 3PM.

We arrived just after noon and easily grabbed a table. Several people were there, but it wasn’t crowded. The Packers were on TV, so there were both cheers and catcalls, depending on what was going on. The waitress came over and we ordered our Bloodies with sidecars. In Illinois (and maybe across the Midwest) a sidecar is a small beer, typically 7 ounces, to go with your Bloody Mary. At the Bears Den, they brought you a can of beer, and a 7 ounce glass. On Sundays, they have “build your own Bloody Mary” for $3, but we opted for the bartender to make ours.

Lunch at The Bears Den with Tanya and Shawn.

Drinks arrived and the Bloodies were as good as we remembered. Our waitress asked what we would like to eat. For me, there was only one thing to order – their Sausage Sandwich. You can have it with peppers, or cheese, or any number of other combinations, but I just ordered it with pickles and onions. It’s like a burger, but made with 1/2 pound of sausage instead. As my buddy Howard says “It rivals the pork tenderloin**as the best area sandwich. The difference? You can order the tenderloin at lots of places, but only The Bears Den has the sausage sandwich.” Shawn also ordered one, while the ladies opted for a BLT and a ribeye sandwich. One of the great things about The Bears Den is they have a decent menu, especially considering the small size of the place and the size of the kitchen.

The food came, and all I can say is, man, I love that sandwich. It was sooooo good. Yea, it didn’t help my cholesterol any, but that’s OK. In fact everyone’s sandwich was good. I think Cath’s BLT was the biggest I’d ever seen, and Tanya’s Ribeye sandwich was great. The table grew quiet for a while as we concentrated on our food. Eventually, we ordered a second round of Bloodies and Shawn had another beer.

Good Food All Around, but Man That Sausage Sandwich!

At some point, our nephew and niece Casey and Ann stopped by with their kids and we were able to catch up with them for a bit, but eventually, it was time to go. Hugs all around in the parking lot, lots of I love you’s, and we headed south to my sister Berta and her husband Jack’s place.

I know it’s a bit crazy to write about a dive bar in the middle of Illinois, when we don’t even live there anymore. Still, it’s good to have things and places you know you can count on. The Bears Den is one of those places. If you are ever near Naplate, I highly recommend it.

Addendum:

  • The “Bears Den” has no apostrophe in it, and I have written it that way throughout this blog.
  • * My friend Howard Johnson notes that Naplate was a factory town (the former Libby Owens Ford, now Pilkington,). The shift workers all converged on the Naplate bars when their shifts ended, keeping them busy 24 hours a day back in the day. That’s a big reason such a tiny village has so many bars.
  • ** One of the great meals you can find in the corn-belt of Indiana, Illinois and parts of Iowa is a breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. They are crazy good and something that many people who move away from the area crave, and always have when they return to Ottawa. If you are closer to Chicago, or in Wisconsin, an Italian Beef Sandwich is just as loved.
Pork Tenderloin Sandwich at The Court Street Pub in Ottawa.
  • The Bears are having a rough stretch in football lately and lost 14 straight games before beating the hapless Commanders last week. The Bears Den remains crowded for their games. In general, the fans are still loyal, but getting restless. One of my buddies, Mark, a diehard Bears fan, sent me this meme after I mentioned we were at The Bears Den for lunch:
Heeheeheehee

Mama Cat

Mama Cat

We inherited Mama Cat about four years ago. Our neighbor had to move to a small apartment and had two other cats she was taking with her, but couldn’t take three. Mama roamed the neighborhood at will and was a frequent overnight guest at our barn, so Cathy said we’d look out for her.

Mama Cat, real name “Nutmeg”, roamed the neighborhood for years. Several people around the area knew her. Early on, she was always shy. You might catch a glimpse of her, and then she was gone. While she was “indoor/outdoor”, I think she was really more of an outdoor cat, who went home to eat occasionally. Of course, she also stopped at several barns/homes in the neighborhood for snacks. Cats, like raccoons, seem to inherently know where there’s a free meal.

When Laura, her owner, had to move, I think she was relieved that Cath said she would keep an eye out for her. Laura’s life had become complicated, and this was one less thing she needed to worry about. After Laura left, we started seeing Nutmeg a bit more, although she was still shy and evasive.

Mama Cat – Also Known as Nutmeg.

At the time, we had two barn cats of our own – Stan and Ollie. Nutmeg started hanging out and generally got along with our two. Then another neighbor’s “Indoor/outdoor” black cat started coming by the barn. He was an unfixed male and wasn’t quite as nice and started chasing our cats away. We didn’t see Mama as much over that time. After about a year the black cat disappeared and we didn’t see him again. We always assumed a fox or coyote caught him at some point.

Cathy followed through on her promise to Laura and we did keep an eye out for Nutmeg. Cath is something of an animal soothsayer and slowly gained Mama’s trust. She was eventually able to pet her and take her to the vet’s office for annual shots. Mama also warmed to me and I too was lucky enough to occasionally pet her. More importantly, for the past couple of years when it turned frigid, we were able to put her in the feed room at night and provided her some heat in a small space. We kept Stan and Ollie in the tack room on those same nights. It’s funny – they were all outdoor barn cats but smart enough to know/learn there was an advantage to being scooped up in the evening and put in a room. They learned to wait around for it, although they were always eager to get out the next morning.

Mama became a regular at the barn and started showing up routinely at mealtimes in the morning and evening over the past year. She’d bound out of wherever she was sleeping in the hay, and report promptly for her meals. She had her own bowl by now, so the cats could all eat at the same time, with no one waiting in line. You would think they were starving with as much as they all ate, but when you picked them up, it was obvious none of them missed many meals.

Mama Cat Doesn’t Miss Many Meals.

Over the past couple of months, Cathy noticed a growing red spot on one of her toes. At first, she thought it was an abscess. Mama wouldn’t let us touch it or examine it closely. Eventually we took her to the vet a couple of weeks ago to have it treated. Unfortunately, it turned out to be an auto-immune disease, and while treatable, there is no cure. It’s not fatal, but puts her at greater risk and she will probably die sooner rather than later. The doctor treated it some and we obtained medicine and brought her home.

Since then, Mama Cat has been extra friendly. She waits to be petted and gives an occasional headbutt. Her purrs are noticeably louder as you scratch her, or she rubs up against you. She doesn’t leave the hay much, and you see her throughout the day if you are at the barn. I’ll be honest, I don’t know if she is thankful we took her to the vet, or her end is approaching and she’s just more comfortable hanging out in the hay. I suspect the latter, although I have no real reason to say it.

I feel lucky Mama Cat is a part of our life here at Rohan Farm. She’s been a project, there’s no doubt about it. At eleven years old, she’s also lived life on her terms. Her friendliness over the past couple of years warms me and I look forward to seeing her every morning when I go to the barn to feed the horses. It may be my imagination, but I think she looks forward to seeing me as well.

Rohan Farm

Rohan Farm

We have lived in our current home for 24 years. When we started looking here in Fauquier County, since I was the one who would be doing the long commute, I told Cathy the only way I would move out this far is if we found the house we were going to die in. Cath, of course, took on the challenge.

In last week’s blog I spoke about a 750+ unit housing development happening about 15 minutes from us in nearby Culpeper County. (A link to the blog is in the Addendum). It consists of cookie-cutter homes starting north of $500K, with some as high as $800K+. All are on small lots. I’m sure they are someone’s dream home, but not mine.

It did get me to thinking about our journey to Fauquier back in 1999 and our own dream home.

When Cathy and I returned from Germany in 1989, a couple things happened: first, We bought a townhome in Fairfax, Va; second, I started working a classified job with the military; and third, Cath got a job in Crystal City, AND bought a horse she was to own for the next 15 years – Arthur. After I decided to get out of the Army in ‘92, we stayed in Fairfax. I started a great job with a company called SRA and had about a 30 minute commute to work.

Our townhouse was nice, but by ‘98 we’d decided to look for a house. More specifically, a property with enough room to keep a couple of horses on it, which meant at least five acres of land. By then Cathy had her own business and was working from home, while I was still working for SRA. We looked in Fairfax County and found a few properties we liked in the Clifton and Fairfax Station areas and even put an offer on one, narrowly losing out to another couple. It was frustrating to lose out on the house, but we were also frustrated as there weren’t many properties for sale in the area that met our requirements and were in our price range.

That’s when Cathy suggested moving out farther to Fauquier County, a beautiful area. We’d spent time there over the years for various horseshows, weekend trips to B&Bs, going to a few Sunday brunches and of course visiting a couple of our favorite wineries. We loved Fauquier.

I immediately said no. Not only no, but hell no. It was not open to discussion. There was no way I was going to do that commute on a daily basis. At the time I was working in Arlington and the commute would take an hour and fifteen or twenty minutes each way.

We circled around that “discussion” for quite some time and a few weeks probably passed. I then made a mistake.

We were discussing Fauquier again, and in a weak moment I said, “I tell you what. If we find the house we are going to die in, I’ll move there.” Cathy nodded and said OK.

In the coming week or two, Cath found three country places online to look at, and with our agent, we scheduled visits to all three on the same day in February of 1999. It snowed an inch or two the evening before our visit but was sunny as we drove to view the properties.

The first place didn’t really look as it did in the photos and we spent no time there. The second place was nice, new and had a barn to die for. Some of the rooms in the home were a bit odd, but overall, we liked it. We weren’t blown away by it but might give it further consideration. We left, and then proceeded to house number three, also the farthest away.

We drove down the long driveway with snow in the field to the left and the woods to the right. It was a nice setting. You couldn’t yet see the house and then we crested a small hill for our first view. It had stone and cedar siding with two chimneys and a cedar shingled roof. How pretty in the snow! We parked outside the garage and walked to the stone porch in the back of the house. As we stood there looking at the pond and fields, three horses trotted by in the paddock between the house and the pond. I mean it was so perfect, it was almost as if they were holding the horses out of sight, and as we arrived, someone called and said, “Cue the horses.”

The Pond, on Another Winter Morning

Cathy and I didn’t say a word but looked at each other. It was one of those looks married couples have where an entire conversation takes place and no one says a word. We hadn’t entered the house yet, but pretty much knew this was our next home.

This house wasn’t new. It was about 20 years old, but built in a way to make it look much older. In the family room there was flooring and beams from a pre-Civil War warehouse near Petersburg, Virginia. One of the doors was antique and made entirely by hand with no nails involved. Most of one side of the home was glass or glass doors so there were constant views of the pond and fields. The fireplace in the family room was made with stone from the property and installed by an old stone mason who lived just up the road (and is now deceased).

The Morning Sun Streaming in on the Family Room’s Stone Fireplace.

There were things that needed updating of course. Some of the colors were straight out of the 70s. The peacock wallpaper in the dining room would have to go. Most of the carpet was old – probably from the late ‘70s as well.

We also did a tour of the barn. It was functional, although nothing special. The barn at house number two kind of blew it away, but this one was perfectly functional with 6 stalls, instead of the 4 at the previous place.

We left and drove back home with our agent. The distance didn’t seem quite so far to me now.

A few days later we called the owner directly and asked if she would give us a tour of the property itself, which she was more than happy to do. We spent a few hours walking the twenty acres and helped her feed her horses that night. As we passed by the pond, she said “I’ll even throw in the rowboat, if you decide to buy.” When our agents (both ours and hers) found out we’d met without them, they were, ummm, a bit upset, but there wasn’t anything they could do about it.

The next day we put our offer in, and after some back and forth, we signed the contract. We couldn’t actually close until the end of May, as the owner had a couple of pregnant mares and didn’t want to move them until the foals were born and old enough to travel. It made perfect sense to us.

We closed on the appointed day in May and a few days later, with our pickup truck, horse trailer and a U-Haul truck, our friends helped us move. The house was christened with a party that afternoon and evening, and on its way to becoming a home. We named it Rohan Farm*.

Our Home, Rohan Farm

Although the house was already nice, we spent a decade getting everything just the way we wanted it – repainting and recarpeting; the ‘70s look went, as did the outdated kitchen; ultimately, a wine room was added. There was lots of work outside as well – redoing things in the barn; clearing brush off of fencing and replacing the fencing; adding an outdoor riding ring; adding new paddocks; putting in automatic waterers; adding multiple gardens; and of course an endless list of smaller items.

In June it will be 25 years here. We love this place. It doesn’t have all the bells and whistles, but it’s warm and comfortable. It looks like it belongs here in Virginia and has been here forever. We love it and hope to remain here forever as well.

Addendum:

  • * Rohan Farm – Yes, this is from Lord of the Rings. Rohan was the land of the horse people, so it seemed to fit. We’ve both been big fans since the ‘70s, well before the movies ever came out.
  • You can find a link to last week’s blog on the housing development here – The new housing development sits in the middle of nowhere, 6 miles west of Warrenton and 12 miles north of Culpeper. Some thought it might provide “affordable housing” for the area, but with homes starting “in the low $500s”, I don’t think so. Or maybe my definition of affordable housing is […] Continue here: https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2023/08/08/paving-paradise/

Losing the Landline

Losing the Landline

The Washington Post headline screamed out “Barely a quarter of Americans still have landlines. Who are they?” I wanted to shout back, “ME FOR ONE!” Still, I wasn’t really surprised at the numbers. So why haven’t Cath and I taken the plunge? Well, there are one or two downsides to living in the country, which I will get to in a bit.

The article was actually quite interesting. It was based on analysis from the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) and their National Health Interview Survey (NHIS). The survey takes place on an annual reoccurring basis and covers a wide range of topics, including since 2003, cell phone usage. The change overall is pretty dramatic, as you can see from the chart.

Amazing Changes Since 2003.

Not surprisingly, more older people still maintained their landlines. There were however, a couple of other interesting statistics:

  • Homeowners are more likely than renters to have home phones.
  • Hispanics are less likely to have landlines than blacks or whites.
  • There are minimal differences between men and women on who has pulled the plug on landline service.
  • There are minimal difference based on education level on who has pulled the plug on landline service.
  • 1% of Americans have no phones at all (cell or landline)
Some Interesting Statistics.

Researchers also found that phone usage is correlated with health and health issues, often in surprising ways. From a WaPo interview with Mr Blumberg, the head of NCHS, people who abandon landlines and rely only on wireless — “are generally more likely to engage in risky behaviors. They’re more likely to binge drink, more likely to smoke and more likely to go without health insurance.” That’s true even when researchers control for age, sex, race, ethnicity and income. Yep, you read correctly. That friend of yours who smokes cigarettes and binge drinks is also more likely to have only a cell phone.

So why do Cathy and I currently still have our landline? It’s simple really. We live in the country and at our home, cell service has occasionally been sketchy in the past. There are many cell towers across the county. Unfortunately, we have lived in a bit of a semi-dead zone. A few years ago, I put in an amplifier to strengthen the signal which helps, but provides no absolute guarantees. We’ve wanted to make sure that if we have to make an emergency call, we could do so.

I should also mention that about half the time when someone calls one of our cell phones, they don’t ring. Of course some would consider that a blessing. 😉

Maybe it’s time to cut our landline service. With much better internet service now, we also do Wifi calling, which helps from a reliability perspective. Currently, we pay $103.25/month for our landline, so over the course of a year, that’s a chunk of change ($1239 to be exact).

It’s interesting. Sometimes catalysts come from the strangest sources. As I’m typing this, Cathy and I have spoken and decided it’s probably time to give the landline the Heave-Ho. We may wait a month or so to allow some transition time for a few key notifications, but that’ll be it. We may be a bit late to the party, but we’re there now. When you see me smoking more cigars and my alcohol intake increasing, you will know we’ve pulled the trigger. I guess it’s a good thing I’m now on Medicare.

This “Digital Answering System” will be Going by the Wayside.

Addendum:

  • Here’s a link to the entire WaPo article if you are interested: https://wapo.st/438278B
  • Statistical charts in the blog are from the WaPo article.