Mom and Dad’s 75th

May 14th was the 75th anniversary of Mom and Dad’s wedding in 1950. They celebrated 60 of those years together, before Dad passed away in 2010. I’m grateful for the lessons about love and marriage they provided my sisters and me, or to anyone who knew them.

 America and the world changed and transformed over those decades. They were a part of that, but also lived in Ottawa, Illinois their entire lives. A typical midwest town and wonderful place to grow up, I think Ottawa also insulated them some from that changing world. It was a good place for raising a family. 

 As with any couple, there were lots of challenges, particularly during the ‘60s and ‘70s. Money was often a bit tight, and the railroad laid Dad off a couple of times. They always managed to make everything work out for us kids. There may not have been many treats or vacations, but we never went hungry. And, while money was tight, they never let a concern for dollars dominate their life.

 The thing is, I never remember them arguing about money, or for that matter, anything else in front of us kids. While I’m sure they argued as any married couple does, I don’t remember them doing so in front of us. 

 They also always had good times together. I remember many a Saturday night when the two of them would go out to dinner. Dad usually worked on Saturdays (he had Sundays and Mondays off). He would arrive home late Saturday afternoon and strip off his dirty work clothes at the back door before coming into the house and heading to the bathroom for a shave and a bath. He and mom would dress up and get ready for the night. You could see and feel the good mood they were in. For us kids, it was a babysitter and TV dinners. 

 They loved dancing. They had their own dance and could do it to any kind of music. We called it the “Gen and Bill” and they were perfect at it. When they danced, they made it look effortless and as if they had danced together forever. Few people receive a standing ovation for their dancing at a bierfest in Germany, but Mom and Dad did.

 Their immense joy later in life was their grandchildren. For years, they talked about moving to the coast in North Carolina after they retired. Once the grandkids arrived, they shelved that dream. Whether babysitting, taking the kids to one of the local state parks, or any number of other adventures, they loved being grandparents.

 Up until Dad had his stroke, their’s was a balanced marriage, with neither of them as the “dominant” spouse. As with most good marriages, the balance shifted back and forth depending on what life demanded at the time. After his stroke, we saw what “in sickness and in health” really means in a marriage – both the good and the bad of that small, but oh-so-significant phrase.

 As most folk know, every marriage is different and what works for one, isn’t necessarily the same for another couple. When I look at their marriage, what made it special? There are many things I suppose, but some stood out. The mutual respect and love they had for one another. The ability to enjoy life together and make the most out of any situation. Watching their dollars, but not letting money dominate their lives. Being content in the moment. Actively practicing “give and take” in their marriage. Bringing a sense of humor to most situations. Lastly, the ability to dance through life, both literally and figuratively. 

One of Cathy’s and my favorite songs is “Harvest Moon” by Neil Young. I think it applied to Mom and Dad as well and I can see them even now dancing through heaven, doing the Gen and Bill.

“ Come a little bit closer

Hear what I have to say

Just like children sleepin’

We could dream this night away

 

But there’s a full moon risin‘

Let’s go dancin’ in the light

We know where the music’s playin‘

Let’s go out and feel the night

 

Because I’m still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon…”