The Drunken Potato Children at RAR Brewery in Cambridge, MD were good. Crunchy outside, soft inside, and smothered with bacon, sour cream, two cheeses and scallions. Delicious. What, you’ve never had Potato Children? Sure you have, you just called them something else.

When I was a Plebe (Freshman) at West Point, as part of the effort to make officers and gentlemen of us, they also strove to improve our English language skills. As a Plebe, you were not allowed to use slang, contractions, or abbreviations in conversation. For example, we were required to say: “yes”, instead of “yea”; “Roast Thomas Turkey” instead of “Roast Tom Turkey”; “will not” instead of “won’t”; and DC was the District of Columbia. One other quirk of Plebe year was that unless asked for an explanation, you had four answers you could give to any question: Yes Sir, No Sir, No Excuse Sir, and Sir, I do not Understand (note, “do not” not “don’t”).

One day early in the year, I was one of the Minute Callers for my company. A Minute Caller stood at attention near one of the hallway clocks and announced how many minutes until the next formation, and information concerning the formation. They did this on the 10, 5, 4, 3, and 2 minute marks. On this particular day, I announced:

“Sir! There are ten minutes until assembly for dinner formation. Uniform is white over gray. For dinner we are having: Green salad, hamburgers, tater tots and chocolate chip cookies. Ten minutes sir!”

A door flew open and my squad leader came out. “New Cadet HALL! What did you say was for dinner!?”

“Sir, we are having green salad, hamburgers, tater tots and ”

“STOP! Hall, why are you using slang?”

….silence for a second on my part, while I’m thinking “what?”. I answer –

“Sir, I do not understand”.

“What’s for dinner Hall?”

“Sir, green salad, hamburgers, tater tots and”

STOP! Hall, why are you using slang!?”

… now I’m really confused…

“Sir, I do not understand”.

“Hall – did you say tater tots?”

“Yes Sir!”

“What part of the word “slang”, do you not understand? You said Tater. What is the proper word for Tater, New Cadet Hall?”

…me thinking…

“Sir, Potato”.

“That’s right Hall. And what is the correct word for tots?”

…more thinking…

“Sir, Children.”

“Correct, New Cadet Hall. What are we having for dinner?”

…silence…

“Sir, Potato Children!”

“Carry on Hall.”

At the five minute mark I called out:

“Sir! There are five minutes until assembly for dinner formation. Uniform is white over gray. For dinner we are having: Green salad, hamburgers, potato children and chocolate chip cookies. Five minutes sir!”

Another lessen learned….

Ever since that summer, “tater tots” have been “potato children” for me, and it turns out, for most of my classmates. I recently posted the picture of Cathy and me having potato children for lunch and it garnered quite a bit of laughter and varied comments. One of my classmates (looking at you Jim Ray), has even passed the tradition of calling tater tots “potato children” on to his own children. I’m not sure if his kids see the humor in it.

If you ever make it to RAR brewery in Cambridge, Maryland, make sure to order the Drunken Potato Children. I guarantee you will love them.