… All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need …

With apologies to John Lennon, The Beatles got it wrong. Love isn’t all you need, at least when it comes to marriage. Cath and I are celebrating 42 years together on June 16th and love remains at the core of our marriage. Having said that, while we all know love is required, it’s not sufficient. Work, forgiveness, communications, growth, and having fun are perhaps less sexy than love, but all are a part of what makes our marriage work.

Like all good things worth sacrificing for, successful marriages take work. Sometimes, one of you works harder than the other, and that’s OK. Over the lifetime of the marriage, it will balance out.

You must be able to forgive your partner and yourself when the inevitable mistakes happen. We are only human, and we all make mistakes, some big, some small. Don’t hold a grudge agains your partner, or yourself.

Marriage doesn’t go far without open and honest communications. You shouldn’t lie and you shouldn’t quibble. As with a house built on a foundation of sand, a marriage built on lies will crumble.

Cath and I aren’t those same youngsters who married at 22 and 23 years of age. We’ve both grown and changed over the years. The world isn’t static, and hopefully you aren’t either. Recognize change is inevitable, and welcome it.

Finally, you need to have fun along the way. If the two of you aren’t enjoying life, and taking advantage of the good times when they happen, what’s the point? It’s OK to smile, it’s OK to laugh, and it’s definitely OK to have fun, even, and maybe especially, when things are tough.

Just another fun day in the Hall household

By the way, this “list” didn’t just magically appear to us on day one. There have been lots of lessons learned since June 16th, 1978, some fun, some easy, some hard, and some painful. They all add up to a lifetime of love together and I wouldn’t trade any of it.

I’ll pass on one more secret – you need to figure out what works for your marriage and make it your own. Love is key to our life, and work, forgiveness, communications, growth and fun are all important for us. My guess is your own list is a bit different. All you need is love, and a few other complementary values…

… Love you hon – here’s to many more years together …

PS…. I do think your salads are better than mine….

Addendum:

“All you Need is Love” was of course about much more than marriage. Here’s some additional info on it’s release, from Wikipedia: “All You Need Is Love was released as a single in July 1967. It was written by John Lennon. The song was the Beatles’s contribution to Our World, the first live global television link, for which the band was filmed performing in London on 25 June. The program was broadcast via satellite and seen by an audience of over 400 million in 25 countries. Lennon’s lyrics were deliberately simplistic, to allow for the show’s international audience, and captured the ideals associated with the Summer of Love.” Of course over the years, it’s become a wedding/couple love tribute, and popularized in such movies as: Love Actually and Moulin Rouge, among others.