A random survey of squirrels, reveals they don’t like window blinds…

It was about 1130 when the phone rang. It was Billy from over on the Bay, who doesn’t usually call, so I answered.

Me: “Hello”

Billy: “Max, this is Billy. You had a squirrel in your house. I just got it out.”

Me: “What?”

Billy: “You had a squirrel in your house. I just got it out.”

Me:

Billy: “Can you hear me?”

Me: “I’m not sure, I thought I heard you say there was a squirrel in our house.”

Billy: “That’s what I said. The damage isn’t too bad, except for the blinds and a few broken glasses”.

We talked more, but the connection was bad. I then noticed I had a phone msg from another neighbor. I called them back.

Jim: “Max, you had a squirrel in the house. Billy got it out.”

Me: “Yea, I just talked to him. Do you know how much damage there was? The connection was really bad, so I couldn’t quite hear.”

Jim: “I don’t. We didn’t go in, but I think Eileen did. They had to get the key from her. Maybe the squirrel got in when the guys were doing work at the house a couple of days ago. They had a white van.”

Me: “We weren’t having any work done.”

Jim: “Hmmm. Maybe they were working next door, but parked in your drive. Kirk is who saw the damage. Your blinds were all ripped up and askew, so he looked in through the window and saw a squirrel sitting on your couch. ”

Me: “Damn. I’m glad he did. OK. Let me call Eileen”

The call with Eileen revealed that she had gone in, there was broken glass, the blinds were ripped down, and maybe a couple of kitchen cabinet doors were ripped off.

….shit…..

I decided I’d better drive over ASAP and see what the damage was. A two and a half hour drive gives you plenty of time to think and ask questions of yourself, some more preposterous than others.

How bad is the damage?

How’d the squirrel get in?

Does someone with a white van dislike us, and they secretly released a squirrel in the house to screw with us? Do I need to change the locks?

I talked to Billy on the way, and he insisted the damage wasn’t bad, except for the blinds. I told him I’d give him a call after I arrived.

2:45PM and I arrive. All looks normal outside. I go inside, and in the kitchen, there are 3 or 4 broken Martini glasses that were knocked off a shelf, but that’s it. The cabinet door Eileen thought was ripped off was actually one I’d previously taken down to fix. Into the front room, and….

Every single blind, except for one, is in some state of disrepair. Three are totally ripped down. Two are half torn apart. And, that’s it – a knocked over light, but nothing else is broken. Evidently, the squirrel kept trying to get out through the windows, and in the process, it tore down the blinds and chewed on one of the windows.

I start to clean up and call Billy. He get’s there about an hour later, and I’ve finished the clean up, so we have a beer. We’ve both independently looked at the exterior to the house and can find no “surprise” entry points.

We talk about other possibilities, but other than the squirrel following someone into the house, have no other plausible explanation. We finish the beers, and Billy is leaving, when I ask if he can replace the locks. No problem, he’ll get it done.

If either the squirrel, or the mystery guys in the white van have a spare key, we’ve outwitted them. All other scenarios remain open.

It’s always good when life throws a little humor in your direction….

Addendum:

Thanks to Billy, Kirk and Virginia, Jim and Trish, Eileen and Fritz, and Jim and Veronica for assistance in resolving the issue!

On further inspection, there is some (minor) evidence that it may have come down the chimney to gain entrance.