Shipping Bier from Germany

It was only slightly problematic to ship kegs of bier from Germany to the United States in the ‘80s. I’m told the statute of limitations has probably expired for any crimes we may have committed…..

In 1980, while stationed with the 123d Signal Battalion, 3rd Infantry Division, in Germany, we were introduced to Kloster Kreuzburg (Kreuzburg Monastery). The Kreuzburg, for my money, makes some of the best beer in the world. It is a dark bier, brewed by monks. As a matter of fact, they’ve brewed it since 1731 and know what they are doing. People think of dark bier as heavy, and perhaps bitter. This was neither. We called it “Smooth Dark Bier” and drove an hour and a half one way to drink “SDB”. The bier was great, the food was good, and it made a fun day. On Sundays, they stopped serving from 11-11:30AM, during morning prayers. If you already had a mug, you could keep drinking, but you couldn’t order another one until prayers were over. There was always a line about 10:45AM.

At Kreuzburg, they didn’t bottle or can their bier, and they didn’t ship kegs anywhere else (they still don’t). If you wanted to drink Kreuzburg, you had to go to the Monastery. The only way you could take any with you was to buy a keg, which Cathy and I did a couple of times for parties. It was actually a threefer….you could drink Kreuzburg the day you picked up the keg, drink it again at your party, and then have it a third time when you returned the empty keg a few weeks later.

If you visited us in Germany during the ‘80s, there’s a good chance we took you to the Kreuzburg. Our good friend Tim visited us several times then and we made a few pilgrimages to the Kreuzburg. He also became a great admirer of the Smooth Dark Bier.

In 1986, while stationed in Worms, Germany I received a letter from Tim (remember letters? In the pre-Internet age people used them to communicate. We rarely called between Germany and the US because of the expense). He had a proposition for me. The holidays were approaching and he wanted to know if I was willing to buy a couple kegs of Kreuzburg Bier for him. He thought he found a way to ship the kegs to Chicago. It turns out if you work for a company that processes custom’s paperwork for firms in Chicago, you know people who can “facilitate” certain activities.

I quickly sent a letter back saying I was in, and to let me know what to do.

A few weeks later, the phone rang one evening. It was Tim, and he explained the plan. It turns out when shipments are made by jet, they load the shipped items into large, securable containers. Inevitably, there’s a bit of empty space in the container – maybe the exact amount of space needed to hold a couple kegs of bier. Once our merchandise was added, the container would be locked and loaded on the plane. When the plane landed at O’Hare Airport in Chicago, a “friend” would retrieve the kegs, and arrange for Tim to pick them up. Tim was just waiting for his Chicago friend to find a partner on the German side and we’d be in business. Once the German contact was identified, I’d receive another call saying where and when to meet him with the kegs.

A couple more weeks went by and the call came from Tim. We were on. I was to meet Jürgen in ten days at 2PM. We would link up at a specific Lufthansa freight dock in the industrial part of the Frankfurt am Main Airport.

I drove to Kreuzburg a week later. After having a liter or so of bier and lunch, I bought the two kegs. The clerk also gave me two bunghole taps. German kegs, or at least Kreuzburg’s, were air fed, and I suppose naturally carbonated. You’d put a tap in the top, and one in the side, open the tap on top, and then pour at will from the side tap. I paid for the kegs, along with a return deposit, and drove the two hours home to Worms.

Cathy and I talked and decided to see if we could get Jürgen to take a bottle of German sparkling wine (Sekt) as well. We thought we’d try and add a surprise gift for my mom and dad, in the shipment.

Delivery day arrived and I made the trip to Frankfort Airport. I drove through the freight entrance (pre 9-11, security was pretty lax) and found the right loading dock, where there were five or six guys sitting around. I got out of the car and said “Guten Tag, ist Jürgen hier?” (Good day, is Jürgen here?). Jürgen identified himself, and looked a bit cautious. The two of us moved off to the side and I explained who I was and I had the two kegs of bier. All of a sudden, we were old buddies. Jürgen called one of his workers and we went to the car and unloaded the kegs. As we put the kegs on the dock, I handed Jürgen the bunghole taps, and asked if he thought they could also take the bottle of Sekt. He looked at me as if I was crazy and then laughed and said “Sicher! Warum nicht?” (Sure! Why not?). We shook hands, I climbed back in the car and drove home.

Three days went by and the phone rang. It was Tim, and the merchandise had arrived, including the Sekt. We laughed about making this whole crazy thing work. A few days later, the first Keg was consumed at a Holiday Party at Tim’s office. The second Keg went to a party he and our friend Howard were having at their apartment in Chicago. It was a good Christmas all the way around.

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The story doesn’t end there. After a couple months, I started thinking about those kegs and the deposit we paid. I sent Tim a letter asking about returning them via my APO address (Army Post Office). If we could mail them cheaply enough, returning the kegs for the deposit would make some money back. A while later, Tim sent the kegs and I made another trip to Kreuzburg.

I went to the keg window to turn them in, and the clerk opened the register book looking for the kegs. Every keg at the monastery had it’s own serial number, (remember, this is Germany, and there WILL be order!) so this is pretty straight forward. He found the serial numbers, looked at the book for a bit, then looked up at me and said “these kegs were already turned in.” I looked at him, looked at the two kegs, and looked back at him. “I don’t think so”. He answered back “See in the book? They were already returned.” Silence. I pointed at the serial numbers on the kegs and said “but you can see they are right here.” More silence. He then said “let me get the monk in charge of the cellar.”

A few minutes went by and he returned with the monk. “What is the problem?” I answered “I have two kegs to return.” The clerk chimed in “but they were already returned.” The monk looked at the register. He then looked at the two keg’s serial numbers. He looked back at the book, and finally he looked at the clerk. The clerk stayed quiet. The monk reached into the cash register, counted out my deposit, handed it to me, and thanked me for returning the kegs. As I walked off, I heard him tell the clerk they would discuss this later.

Now, I don’t know what really happened with the register. Maybe someone marked the kegs as returned to help something balance out. Or maybe so much time went by, someone marked the kegs as returned and pocketed the deposit. As much as I would have enjoyed listening in on the conversation between the monk and the clerk, it was almost 11AM, and they would soon be closing for morning prayers. I walked over to the bier window and ordered myself a half liter of Smooth Dark Beer. It seemed a better way to spend the day.

Addendum:

Tim and I were laughing about the story recently. Of course these days, post September 11th, there’s no way you could ever do this type of thing. The security structure is much, much stricter, and you would spend a fair amount of time in jail if caught. We’d never attempt it now, but at the time, it seemed a fun challenge.

If you are visiting Germany and in Northern Bavaria, I can’t recommend Kloster Kreuzburg enough. It’s a bit out of the way, but well worth the detour. If you want more info on Kloster Kreuzburg, you can find it at: https://www.kloster-kreuzberg.de/content/kb_brauerei.php . They had Saint Bernard dogs they raised at the Monastery, and you could pet them when you visited. The line has since been retired. There were also beautiful grounds you could walk, including a trail with the “Stations of the Cross.” In all of our many visits to the Kreuzburg, we actually only walked the “Stations of the Cross” once when we stayed over night at the Monastery. The rest of the time, we headed straight to the Bier Stube (Beer Room).

* Bunghole Tap picture is courtesy of Tim. He still owns the tap itself as well.