Author: maxnhall

The Best Burger

The Best Burger

For the last 30 years, I’ve told anyone who would listen that the best burger I ever ate was at The Squeeze Inn in Sacramento, CA. The place is still around and if you are there, you should try it. It’s a great burger, but it’s no longer my “best ever”. For that, you must visit Field and Main Restaurant here in Marshall, Va for an Ooomami Smashburger. Trust me on this. You won’t go wrong.

According to some studies, Americans eat about 50 billion burgers a year. Taste is subjective, and we all have our favorites. Sometimes they’re from dives, sometimes gourmet places and occasionally from chains (I’m looking at all of you Five Guys and In-N-Out burger fans). It just so happens my two favorite burgers are from two very different restaurants, 2,700 miles apart.

In 1992, I happened to be in Sacramento, CA and someone recommended trying “The Squeeze Inn”, so called due to its tiny size. It was a small greasy spoon with seating for about a dozen people. It may have had a couple of picnic tables outside. In any case, we finally went and I ordered a cheeseburger. HOLY COW – it was amazing, the best burger I ever had. I couldn’t even tell you what made it so good, other than lots of cheese. A few months later in early ‘93 I was back in Sacramento and stopped in again – was the previous trip a mirage? Was the burger really that good? DOUBLE HOLY COW! It was just as good the second time.

The Original Squeeze Inn

I became an apostle and proselytized regularly. If I knew anyone traveling remotely close to Sacramento, I recommended they stop in. If I met someone from Sacramento, I’d always ask about the Inn. It turns out I wasn’t the only one who liked the place. Virtually anyone who’d eaten there loved their burgers. In fact, Guy Fieri of Diners Drive-ins and Dives TV Show fame, proclaimed it one of the best burgers in America.

Strangely, I haven’t returned to Sacramento since the ‘93 visit, but The Squeeze Inn’s cheeseburger lived on in my mind as the best burger I’d ever eaten. I’d occasionally look up the restaurant online, and they were still receiving rave reviews.

So, what changed for me? The Ooomami Smashburger at Field and Main came along.

Field and Main first opened in 2016. Neal Wavra, the owner, has done a great job of making the place both a destination restaurant AND a good addition to the local restaurant scene. Cathy and I enjoy dinners there on a regular basis. The menu rotates, but I’d tell you their Chicken leg “confit” is one of my favorite meals. Billed as “casual fine dining”, it’s received two favorable reviews from WaPo restaurant critic Tom Sietsma, has won numerous awards, and is constantly written up as one of the best restaurants in Virginia. Their food is excellent. If you saw the place, or looked at their menu, it’s not immediately obvious they would make a great burger, and yet they do.

Field and Main – “Casual Fine Dining” AND a Great Burger!

I was reminded of this on a recent Saturday evening. Returning from an afternoon with my running group, I stopped in to pick up some wine we’d ordered and to get take-out dinner for Cathy and me. I went upstairs to the bar, ordered one of their signature drinks, a “Red Lantern” (definitely try it if you visit) and ordered dinner to go – two Ooomami Smashburgers and an order of loaded crispy potatoes. If you time it right, you can finish your drink in about the time it takes them to make your meal, and that was true on this occasion. I paid, grabbed the food and drove home, where Cathy was waiting.

Both of us were hungry and we tore into the burgers. We’ve eaten them several times before and on this particular night, the revelation hit me – this may well be the best burger I’ve ever eaten. I don’t know if it’s the Wagyu beef, the homemade bacon jam, or both of those combined with the onions and American Cheese that makes it so good, but it is delicious. The loaded crispy potatoes with garlic, bacon, sour cream, scallions and a pimento cheese sauce are pretty d@mned good as well. Focused on our food, we didn’t say much as we ate.

The Ooomami Smashburger with Loaded Potatoes

I highly recommend you give it a try, but don’t just take my word for it. Northern Virginia Magazine recently held a competition and of 32 places, it was judged the best burger in Northern Virginia (read here: NoVA Wars: Burger Edition). The loaded crispy potatoes aren’t mandatory, but they’re mighty tasty as well.

The burger is listed on the menu as an appetizer. I know some who do order it as an appetizer or split it between 2-4 people to start the meal. Others order it as their main. With so many good choices on the menu, Cath and I rarely order it as a main unless we are having a casual dinner in the bar or getting take-out. Then? There’s a good chance we have Ooomami Smashburgers in our future.

I know there are many great burgers around, and I’m sure most of you have your own “best burger” in mind at some local restaurant, or some place you remember from your past. For all of you Five Guys or In-N-Out burger fans, if your best burger comes from a chain, that’s OK. I might think you’re living a sheltered life, but I won’t hold it against you.

If you are in Sacramento, CA or Marshall, VA I’d recommend both places for a burger. If you could only choose one place? Visit Field and Main in Marshall. Call me ahead of time and I’ll happily join you.

Addendum:

  • For info on Field and Main Restaurant, a reservation is usually required, unless you are sliding into the bar. Additional information can be found here: https://www.fieldandmainrestaurant.com/
  • The Squeeze Inn is still around in Sacramento, and now several other places in Northern California. They no longer have their original building (it closed due to a frivolous lawsuit). I still highly recommend you get one of their burgers if in the area. You can find more about them here: http://www.squeezeburger.com/

Making Espresso

Making Espresso

When we returned from Germany in ‘83 there were many things we missed from our 4 1/2 years in Europe. One of those items was coffee. Good Coffee. Cathy rectified that by buying me a small Espresso/Cappuccino Maker for Christmas that year. 40 years later, it still brews decent coffee, even if it looks old and outdated.

We were happy to return to the States, but in addition to good coffee, there were a number of things we missed from our time overseas, including good bier and cheese. The craft bier movement wouldn’t really hit its stride in the US until the ‘90s. As a result, Michelob or Heileman’s Special Export were what passed for top-shelf domestic beer at the time. The cheese market in the states consisted of American, Swiss and Cheddar once you were outside of Wisconsin or a couple of places in New York and Northern California. That too would change, but in the early ‘80s, it was a desert. Of course you could buy imported beer (back then, Lowenbrau or Heineken), or imported cheese, but there weren’t any real American products. I was further mystified to find the concept of a charcuterie board hadn’t reached the States – how was it possible something we routinely ate for lunch in a German Gasthaus didn’t even exist here?! And don’t get me started on wine…

Yes, I know this all sounds like an old man rant, and if I were saying it now, it would be. I was saying this in 1983, at the grand old age of 28.

Back to coffee. ;-).

Coffee in Germany and Europe was so much more than just a pot of brewed coffee. The Europeans made stronger coffee in general – not more bitter, just stronger and with great flavor. At the Gasthäuser (local restaurants) we visited, it was always made fresh – it wasn’t from a pot that was sitting for hours. In the afternoon, you could visit a Konditorei (the German word for a pâtisserie or confectionery shop) for a coffee and a sweet treat of some sort. The coffees varied from regular, to espresso, to cappuccino, to café au lait (coffee with a separate small pitcher of hot steamed and slightly frothed milk you added to your coffee). One of our great pleasures was sitting outside at a cafe in Berlin, or Paris, or Vienna, or Monte Carlo or any number of cities having a coffee, while watching the world pass by. I become nostalgic even today thinking about it.

There wasn’t the same type of coffee availability here in the States in ‘83. Starbucks started in Seattle in 1971, but didn’t really begin expanding until the late ‘80s. Although local coffee shops existed in some places, The “Local Coffee Shop” was an idea that hadn’t yet come into its own.

At the time, we were stationed in Dayton, Ohio. At a local mall, we discovered a shop that sold coffee beans. (I can’t remember if you could actually also buy a cup of coffee there or not.) In any case, we bought a grinder, and started grinding our own beans for our regular coffee pot at home and were able to make a stronger cup of coffee. We also bought espresso beans and used our Italian stovetop espresso maker (known as a Moka pot, it cost all of $6 when we bought it in Italy in ‘82 – I see they run $25 plus on Amazon now) to make a decent espresso. Half the problem was solved.

Our Old Moka Pot Also Still Works Well.

Cathy solved the other half of the problem that Christmas when she gave me an Espresso/Cappuccino maker. I was thrilled and started using it that very day. It became a fixture at our house and if you visited us in the ‘80s through the mid ‘90s, I practically forced a coffee on you

A Great Christmas Present in 1983!

Espressos? Sure. In addition, my after-dinner cappuccinos became a point of pride and were quite good, if I do say so myself. I’d add a capful of Cointreau for a sweetener and grind a little fresh nutmeg on the top of the foam. We also did Irish Cappuccinos. I think you know how I made those.

Somewhere along the way, other manufacturers started selling upscale Espresso machines of better quality. Now days, you can easily spend between $500 and $1,600 on a high-end espresso/coffee maker. Breville, Rancillo, Gaggia and others all make excellent machines … at a price. Over the years, I looked at a couple of them, but never pulled the trigger. We have a couple of friends who own them. One uses his religiously. Another found it more trouble than it was worth and it now sits on the counter, mostly unused. For my friends* that own super nice espresso machines and are real aficionados, good for you, and I’m happy for you. I’m sure you can probably make a better espresso than I can, and that’s OK.

Coffee shops are now ubiquitous here and these days you can’t trip without falling into one of them. They generally make great coffee. There are a few good local shops near us not named Starbucks, and I prefer those. If you ask, they’ll serve you your coffee in an actual coffee cup – not some crap paper cup.

Over time, I backed off using our little machine quite as much. Life was too busy, or I’d lost interest. And then, after retiring about a decade ago, I started using it more again. Usually, it’s in the afternoon and Cath and I feel the need for a little pick-me-up. I’ll make us cappuccinos and we take a break from life and sit and sip our coffees for ten or fifteen minutes. It’s a nice pause, especially on a winter day with fresh snow outside.

Yes, It Still Makes a Decent Cappuccino. Nutmeg and Cointreau are Optional.

Yes, over the last forty years, we here in the States have caught up to Europe on bier, cheese, good everyday wine and even charcuterie boards. As for coffee, I’m guessing we have more coffee shops than Europe now days.

At home, I would bet we’ve gone through five or six regular coffee machines since 1983. They die every six or seven years. Our Maxim Espresso Machine? It’s a little banged up but works fine and keeps chugging along. How many forty-year-old machines do you have in your home you can say the same thing about?

Addendum:

  • * I do know there are lots of great espresso makers out there, and that those of you who have them can pull a better shot, with more crema than I can. I certainly mean no criticism of those machines and am, at least a little, envious of you. My point in this blog was about my machine being 40 years old, and there’s not much that lasts that long anymore. Still, it’s interesting. In Italy, rather than buying an elaborate espresso machine, over 3/4 of the country still uses their stove-top espresso machine (Moka pots) everyday for their first cup of coffee. You can read more about the Moka pot here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moka_pot
  • The blue coffee cup with my name on it is a bit precious to me. It was a gift from our old friend Tim in ‘80 or ‘81. He bought it while visiting us in Germany and gave it as a gift. Tim passed away last December.

Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day

I’m one of those guys who, although not always in a timely fashion, notices milestones in my life. It turns out this Valentine’s Day is the 51st Cathy and I have shared. Yea, our first was in 1973, when we were both students at Ottawa High School.

Cath and I in the OHS Yearbook for ‘73

At the time, we had been dating for about eight months. I have no memory of what we did on that momentous occasion. Cathy doesn’t either. 🙂

At Homecoming Dance, a few Months Before our First Valentine’s Day.

When I was at West Point, with Cathy in DC, we were always apart and sent letters or cards to each other for the big day. (You remember letters don’t you?) Later in the ‘80s during our tours of duty in Germany with the Army, I’m sure we were separate on at least half of those Valentine’s Day, with me deployed on maneuvers or Temporary Duty somewhere. We probably enjoyed a celebratory dinner after I returned home, but again, I don’t remember.

It’s only since the ‘90s and civilian life that I think we’ve regularly celebrated Valentine’s Day. I know we did trips away or dinners out at nice restaurants several times. Later, we became tired of the rush and crowding of restaurants and celebrated more at home. A nice dinner – steaks, or a special pasta dish, or maybe a cheese and charcuterie board with champagne in front of the fireplace. Sometimes there were gifts, sometimes not.

I was thinking about our past celebrations, as I’ve seen ads in the lead-up to Valentine’s Day this year – Godiva or Ferrero Rocher chocolates; flower delivery services; special cards from Hallmark; sexy underwear; and of course, jewelry, including Kay’s and Pandora. The New York Times even ran an article about “The 31 best Valentine’s Day gifts for her”. One of the “great” things about America is we always find a way to make a buck off of anything.

More Suggestions of Chocolate, Underwear, Flowers and Fake Flowers.

I took a further trip down memory lane and reread our wedding vows. We had dutifully recited, as many couples do, “For better, for worse; For richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; … as long as we both shall live…” I also reread what Reverend Fred Fullerton*, my high school classmate and the minister at our wedding, asked for in prayer concerning our marriage: “strengthen and deepen it through time… steady it by toil… crown it with greatness through self-discipline… purify it in the crucible of our inevitable human pain…”

Fred’s Thoughtful Prayer for our Marriage and Life Together.

We’ve certainly seen for better and worse, trying financial times and our fair share of sickness. I like to think our love has strengthened and deepened over time and we have constantly worked at our marriage over our years together. Challenges and pain have happened, as they inevitably do. As is always the case, how we respond to those challenges is more important than the challenge itself.

In the past year, we’ve had constant reminders of both the joy and the fragility of life. We have celebrated good times with family and friends. We’ve also witnessed deaths with some of those same friends and family members. We’ve confronted new injuries and diseases, both our own and other folk’s. Lately, our lives seem to be on one of those roller coasters all of us occasionally experience.

51 years. Cripes, that’s over half a century. We still enjoy celebrating Valentine’s Day and I think have learned to take nothing in life for granted. This year, we are staying home and will keep it simple – Steak Diane and a nice red wine. We’ll celebrate our past. And then, we’ll clink our glasses and toast our future together for as long as we both shall live.

I love you hon….

Addendum:

  • Reverend Fred Fullerton was my good friend and high school classmate in the OHS class of ‘73. He was also our class president. He became a minister in the Nazarene Church. We are very proud to have been the first marriage service he preformed.

Carmen’s Surgery

Carmen’s Surgery

My walking companion for the past nine years is sidelined. Carmen needed surgery last week to repair a ruptured ligament in her left rear leg. We went down this road with a previous dog, Holly, and are familiar with the journey. It doesn’t make it any less distressing for the three of us.

Carmen in Happier Times.

Yep, nine years of walking together came to an end about ten days ago. Our neighbors haven’t done a good job of managing their dog Kylie and keeping him under control*. I actually like Kylie. He’s a Golden Retriever and friendly enough. The problem is, after two years they still don’t keep Kylie at home. They “think” they do; the reality is something else and Kylie wanders. Ten days ago, we found him in our yard again playing roughly with Carmen and jumping on her. It wasn’t done meanly, but he outweighs her by 25 pounds. I sent him home, and then noticed Carmen limping. That night the limp worsened and the next morning, she wouldn’t put weight on the leg. That’s when we went to the vet.

Evaluations, tests, X-rays … the results came back. She needed surgery for a torn ligament in her leg. We were lucky there was a cancellation for another patient and scheduled her surgery for the following Wednesday.

X-ray of Camen’s Knee, and an Explanation of the Surgery.

The first morning after the doctor’s initial evaluation was a challenge. I took her outside on a leash to do her business. She gave me a look as I put on the leash – “Well, this is strange.” As she did a three-legged hop down the driveway, she became visibly upset and stopped in her tracks when I diverted her onto the grass to potty. “What?! What are you doing?! We ALWAYS walk to the barn in the morning!” I had no way of explaining this was for her own good and I was just looking out for her. After she finished, I carried her back towards the house, before putting her on the ground. She dutifully hopped into the house on her three good legs.

She’s a good dog, and a brave dog. I hated seeing her hop around as a tripod before the surgery. There were no complaints. Just the sad look in her eyes when I left the house without her to go for a walk, or to clean the horse stalls. I knew she’d happily try to three-leg-hop for two miles with me if I let her. She doesn’t understand, of course.

Wednesday came and the surgery went well. She had a procedure called a TPLO**. Our surgeon, DR Nicholson let us know, “Carmen did great!” Bringing her home, the first day was tough for all three of us. Carmen was out of it and mostly slept. We were able to get her to drink a little water and take her pain pills with a little peanut butter, but that was it. She didn’t want to stir and we didn’t force it. Finally, it was time for bed. She was sleeping so soundly, we didn’t take her out.

Knocked Out the First Night.

I slept on the couch that night, and her bed was nearby. Around 3AM I woke and sensed something. I looked to my right and Carmen was sitting up, looking at me. After putting her leash on, I carried her outside and gently put her down. She tripodded a bit and then urinated. She hopped a dozen steps or so, and then poo’d as well. I carried her back inside, gave her a treat and some more water and we shared a look. That’s when I knew she was going to be OK.

We both slept in the next morning. After feeding the horses, I returned and a while later, Carmen stirred. Cath and I both greeted her and she gave us a small tail wag. A brief walk outside to do her business, then some water, a little food, and more pills.

Later, we looked at each other again. It was time to start rehab and so we did. She tripodded out for another pee, and then we did our first Physical Therapy (PT) session – a five minute walk. Two more PT sessions followed that day. Also, we now had to occasionally use an Elizabethan Collar*** to keep her from licking her stitches.

Carmen in Her Elizabethan Collar.

She slept through the next night and in the morning, we walked to the barn. Well, I walked and she hopped. She was happy back at the barn and sniffed around. We fed the horses and returned to the house. Our first PT session of the 2nd day was complete.

Doing PT.

Time passed and by day three post-surgery, she was more normal and more alert. PT continued and she put more weight on her leg. It was a warm February day, and what she really wanted was a chance to lay in the sun like the old days, pre-injury. We both spent some time soaking up rays.

Sometimes, a Little Warm Sunshine Helps as Much as PT

Over the next several days, Cath and I both spent time exercising Carmen. We do our three sessions a day religiously and you can see her improving. She is using the injured leg more as she walks. As a patient, her attitude is great. We should all be so enthusiastic when we need to do PT after injuries or surgery.

And so it begins. The first week is in the books. We have goals and checkpoints along the way – the three-week mark; the 6-8 week time period; three months… With hard work, good luck and God’s grace, Carmen will be “normal” in five to six months.

Right now, we’re taking it one day at a time.

Addendum:

  • * After the first vet visit, I had a not particularly pleasant conversation with Kylie’s owner. He was “surprised” Kylie was still coming to our place and was sorry (I called bullshit – Kylie is at our place at least once a week and visits other neighbors as well). I told him he needed to control Kylie – A fence, an underground fence, or only letting Kylie out when he was with him. If I saw Kylie on our property again, we would have an issue. He agreed. Of course, Kylie was on our property again two days later. I let the owner know if I saw Kylie again, I would call animal control. He assured me they are putting in a fence and for now, Kylie wouldn’t be outside unless tied up. We’ll see. I don’t hate Kylie or hold him responsible. I do put blame on his owners. It’s never good when your dog needs to go through surgery. It’s a bit sad when it was avoidable. Too little too late, as they say. Maybe I should have been an ass about Kylie earlier.
  • ** TPLO Surgery – You can’t really repair a dog’s ligaments. Instead, they now do something called Tibial Plateau Leveling Osteotomy (TPLO) surgery, a major advancement in the treatment of ligament rupture. “This surgery changes the angle and relationship between the thigh bone (femur) and the shin bone (tibia). The overall intent of the surgery is to reduce the amount the tibia shifts forward during a stride. This is accomplished by making a semicircular cut through the top of the tibia, rotating the top of the tibia, and using a bone plate to allow the tibia to heal. This realignment of the surfaces within the knee (stifle) helps to provide stability during a stride and helps to reduce future joint inflammation and osteoarthritis. By carefully adjusting the angle or slope of the top of the tibia, surgeons can create a more normal configuration of the knee joint and reduce mechanical stress.” You can learn more here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tibial-plateau-leveling_osteotomy
  • *** I like “Elizabethan Collar” or E-Collar so much better than “Cone of Shame”. No need to make fun of them when they are vulnerable.

January

January

I may not hate January, but I don’t exactly love it. After the fun and festivities of Thanksgiving, the Christmas holiday season, and New Year’s Eve, January arrives like a fat dose of reality, cold and hard. When I was at West Point, it was the start of what we called “Gloom Period”*.

The weather, reduced daylight, post-holiday debt, broken resolutions, and springtime nowhere in sight all combine, making January a demanding month. Additionally, living on a farm in the country makes January more “real”, or at least more of a challenge than living in the city or the ‘burbs. All of the daily chores go slower, or take longer to do. It’s just a fact of life here on the farm.

There are of course good things about January – a couple of holidays; the fresh start of a new year; skiing, sledding or skating if you are into those and nature collaborates; all of those wonderful soups, stews and casseroles we make and eat in winter; seeing a bright red cardinal framed against the white of the snow; sitting by a fire, while looking out a window at the beauty of the falling snow…

Beauty of the New Fallen Snow.

Looking out a window at the beauty of the falling snow… and knowing I had to get my butt out there ASAP and plow the drive from the barn to the house to the road. This year, after over 700 days of no measurable snow in the Virginia Piedmont, Mother Nature reminded us she is boss. This January, two storms gave us 10 inches of snow and I plowed after each of them. I also plowed an elderly neighbor’s driveway so she could get up and down the hill at her home.

Plowing the Drive From the Barn to the House to the Road.

After the snow, the temperature dropped into the low teens and single digits. This meant placing an extra space heater in the barn tack room to keep the pipes from freezing. We also moved the barn cats into the tack room at night to keep them from freezing. Extra hay was provided for the horses, as well as giving them a fresh bucket of unfrozen water just before bed each night.

Trying to Keep Both Pipes and Cats Protected.

The state and county plowed the roads and then plowed them again. With high winds, the dry snow drifted back over a couple of our country byways, making them nearly impassable. Additionally, a couple of friends ended up with frozen pipes. The pretty white snow wasn’t quite so pretty by then.

Of course I realize compared to friends and family in the midwest, this weather has practically been balmy and the snowfall not so bad. Maybe I’ve grown soft over the years away from home.

This being Virginia, you can count on frequent weather changes, which did happen last week. The snow, ice and freezing temperatures gave way to a day of misting rain and then temperatures first in the 60s, and then the mid 70s the next day. The snow disappeared and the ground turned to mud. This week as the month is ending, the temps are dropping again. So goes January in The Virginia Piedmont.

In the poem, The Wasteland, T.S. Eliot famously said “April is the cruelest month…”. I’m not smart enough to argue with ol’ T.S., so let’s just call January a challenging month and let it go at that. I don’t hate January, and I don’t hate winter. I enjoy our four seasons and have no plans for relocation to a warmer climate. Still, I’m ready for February’s arrival. Yes, it remains winter, but January will be over, and we’ll have Valentine’s Day on February 14th. The 14th is important for another reason as well. The National’s pitchers and catchers report that day, as sure a sign of spring’s approach as anything I know of, and certainly more reliable than a groundhog’s musings.

Enjoy the season as best you can, my friends.

Addendum:

  • * If interested, here’s a blog I previously published about Gloom Period at West Point. “The United States Military Academy at West Point can be a beautiful place, just not in the middle of winter. We called the time from January through early March, Gloom Period. It was a combination of the blahs, a lack of color, a lack of light, and coldness. There was a pervasive grayness to life […] Continue here – https://mnhallblog.wordpress.com/2018/01/21/gloom-period/

Tammy

Tammy

Recently, I stopped in at David’s Barbershop for a haircut. My usual barber wasn’t there and instead, Tammy cut my hair. We were making small talk, when I learned she was one of the original boat people* who escaped from Vietnam. She told a fascinating story filled with both sadness and hope.

You know what I mean by barbershop small talk with a new barber – the weather, what’s new in town, whether I was retired… When I asked where she was originally from, she said Ho Chi Minh City, but left as a young girl. I asked her if she was one of the boat people. She looked at me, nodded and started telling her story.

After the fall of Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City) in 1975, things became tougher in what was then South Vietnam. The North Vietnamese were rooting out “problems” and people who were, perhaps, too close to the previous government in the South. Tammy’s extended family decided that in order to survive, they needed to leave Vietnam.

They considered going overland to Thailand but discarded the idea. The only practical way was via boat as many others were already doing. Tammy’s aunt, her father’s older sister, took on the task of organizing the escape for their family.

Eventually, she found a boat making the trip to the Philippines. The boat held 50 people total and they secured passage. They were told when and where to meet the boat and have the remaining necessary funds with them.

They Would Attempt to Cross the South China Sea, Heading for the Philippines.

On the appointed day, they arrived early at the location and the boat was waiting for them. They made their final payments and boarded. Her father suddenly remembered something he needed from their house. Tammy doesn’t remember exactly what it was, only that it was important. There was plenty of time, so he left the boat and told them he would be back soon.

Time passed. Her father didn’t return. More time passed and her father still hadn’t returned. Finally, it was time for the boat to leave. Tammy’s aunt tried persuading the captain to delay the departure, but it was to no avail and the ship departed. Tammy never saw her father again.

The journey was a perilous one, as they needed to cross the South China Sea to reach the Philippines. They didn’t encounter pirates on their trip, which was sometimes common, however they did face bad weather and rough seas and the ship became lost. Although the captain piloted them back on route, they spent six days without food or water, before eventually landing in the Philippines. 49 people departed Vietnam. Unlike many of the boats evacuating people, all 49 arrived alive at their destination. Her father would have been the 50th person.

A Boat Similar to the One Tammy and Her Family Used.

Her family spent one or two years in a refugee camp in the Philippines, before eventually relocating to the United States. There she would meet her husband, also a Vietnamese refuge. He became an electrical engineer and eventually worked for the United States government. They raised two sons, one of whom graduated from George Mason with a degree in Cybersecurity, and the other from Virginia Tech with a degree in Software Development.

Tammy finished cutting my hair and I thanked her for the haircut and for sharing her story. I’d gone to the barbershop for a haircut – I also left with a small history lesson.

Tammy.

While driving home, I thought about Tammy, her family and other Vietnamese who came to this country in the aftermath of the Vietnam War. Wikipedia tells us about 2 million people attempted to flee Vietnam by boat. Somewhere between 200,000 and 400,000 people died. Roughly 800,000 were successful in finding a new home. Over 400,000, including Tammy, eventually settled in the United States.

All they wanted was a bit of freedom and a better life than what they saw coming at home. They were willing to risk death or imprisonment. Tammy and her family achieved some version of their dream here in America, although at the price of losing her father. Since then, she has contributed to our country and her children will contribute to our future.

In many ways, her story isn’t so different from the indentured servants, the Puritans, the Irish, the Italians, the Eastern European Jews, the Mexicans or others who have emigrated to America over the course of our history. People left home, often at great peril, to flee persecution, or seek a better life or greater freedom. For many, upon reaching America there was a period of adjustment on their part, and resistance by those already here, before they too were accepted and became a part of the melting pot.

It is a story as old as America itself and regularly repeats over the decades and centuries of our history. Personally, I believe it builds up who we are as a country. They say the strongest steel is forged in the hottest fires. Thank heaven for Tammy and people like her who have faced great adversity and are now a part of America. We need them to continue strengthening the steel of this country.

Addendum:

  • Some older people may have forgotten the story of the Vietnamese Boat People, and those who are younger may have never heard about them. The short version of the story goes like this: the United States left Vietnam in 1973. In 1975 30 North Vietnamese divisions were involved in the fight to take South Vietnam. A great number of the troops defending South Vietnam were concerned about their own families and deserted. The North Vietnamese moved rapidly through South Vietnam and Saigon fell in April of 1975. After the fall, many South Vietnamese were in fear of their lives under the new government and fled, or tried to flee South Vietnam. This took place between 1975 and the early ‘90s, with the highest period of flight from ’78 – ‘79. While some travelled overland, trying to reach Thailand, most went by boat with destinations of Thailand, the Philippines, Malaysia, Hong Kong and Guam.
  • Thanks to my friend and West Point Classmate, Ken Bresnahan, for some assistance with this blog.

Mooseburgers

Mooseburgers

The last time I saw Tim, I was back in Ottawa for my Brother-in-Law Jack’s funeral. I didn’t know it would be the last time, although I suspected it might. Mark, Howard and I were invited to Tim and Renee’s home for a lunch of Mooseburgers, with Tim serving as grill master.

Cath and I had visited Tim and Renee a few weeks before, while in Ottawa for my 50th high school reunion. After flying into Chicago, we stopped by and spent a few hours at their place in St Charles. It was good to catch up. They were supposed to make the reunion as well, but couldn’t. At the time, Tim was a 4+ year pancreatic cancer survivor, but things were going downhill the last couple of months prior to the reunion.

When Jack died of brain cancer a couple of weeks later, I returned for his services and to see my sister Roberta. I called Tim and Renee to see if we might get together, and I think Tim came up with the idea of the group lunch. Old buddies, Mark and Howard were invited and both quickly said yes. The five of us met on the 14th of October.

Tim, Howard and I have known each other since before kindergarten. Mark came on the scene around 5th grade and we have all been buddies ever since. As to Renee, Tim and Renee met through Cath and I in the early ‘90s. What started as friendship turned into love, and they married.

Tim and Renee’s Wedding.

The lunch was a good time. Renee made some wonderful appetizers and our conversations were wide-ranging. Yes, we talked about Tim’s cancer, but we also talked about the Bears and the White Sox, and as is inevitable when together, retold stories from our youth and good times together over the years.

After a while, Tim shuffled out to the grill and cooked the Mooseburgers. They’d brought the ground moose back last summer from their annual vacation to their place in Maine. I believe a cousin shot the moose and gave them some of the burger. Renee let us know that although he was weaker, Tim insisted on cooking. The burgers were great, and cooked perfectly. There was more talk and Tim, his voice somewhat raspy, eventually grew tired. It was time to go. We hugged Renee, fist-bumped Tim and said our goodbyes and “I love you’s”. Mark drove north to Wisconsin, while Howard and I headed south. It was the last time all of us were together.

Mooseburgers

Tim and I continued to text almost daily after that. The last one from him was on November 8th, when he congratulated me on the Virginia election results. After that, the link went silent. Cath and I stayed in contact with Renee and others, and knew Tim’s condition was worsening. Late on the night of December 4th, Renee called and let us know Tim passed away. After talking a while longer, I sent our love her way and hung up the phone. I silently cried dry tears.

I’ve known Tim for about 65 of my 68 years. Tim…June…Junebug… There are so many stories. Although I know there are groans in some quarters when we re-tell them for the 1,000th time, they still bring a smile to my face. In my mind, rather than a film, I see thousands of snapshots of our times together. The number of actual photos is more limited. Unlike now, back in the day we didn’t have the technology, or the desire, to capture everything going on. I think our lives are a little richer for that.

The “snapshots” of those times blur together. Some of the memories are blurry as well, while others are crystal clear. They span two continents, several states and seven decades.

I can turn the kaleidoscope of those decades in my mind and several pictures emerge – earning my God And Country Scout award in ‘68 with Tim and Howard; Tim, Howard and Mark serving as groomsmen for Cathy’s and my wedding in ‘78; multiple visits by Tim and Howard to our home in Germany in the ‘80s; introducing Tim and Renee in the ‘90s and then they married; ski trips to West Virginia in the ‘90s and 2000s with Tim never leaving the cabin; wonderful Bordeaux Dinners at Tim and Renee’s home near Chicago in the 201Xs; all four couples together at Camp Kishauwa in ‘22.

Tim, Howard and I Receiving our God and Country Awards.

I turn the kaleidoscope a second time and different pictures emerge – in the 60s, Tim and I in Boy Scouts sharing a tent at Camp Kishauwa; the Ottawa Gluttons eating team at OHS in ‘73; shipping a keg of bier from Germany to Tim in Chicago in ‘86; visiting Tim and Howard at their iconic Chicago apartment on numerous occasions in the ‘90s; New Year’s Eve dinners at the farm with Tim and Renee in ‘99 and the 2000s; Cath and I visiting Tim and Renee’s beloved Maine for a vacation; endlessly talking and texting about politics and history during Covid.

At Howard and Tim’s Apartment in Chicago in the Early ‘90s.

I rotate the kaleidoscope again and more memories race through my mind – Mrs Finkeldye’s first grade class; drinking biers at the Butler’s House in our high school years; church youth fellowship; Tim saving me from the MPs in Germany; Tim sleeping on the couch with our dog, Top; Tim and Renee with Cath and I skinny dipping in Lost River; Tim and Renee at the Hash; Tim, Howard, Mark and I decades ago on a New Year’s Eve at 3AM in a picture forever frozen in time – all of us young, with our whole lives in front of us…

New Year’s Eve 1978.

There were no photos taken of us at the Mooseburger lunch. We didn’t need or want any. What I’ll remember is the fellowship and love of old friends spending a few hours together. I’ll always remember that lunch. Always. The memory of it will spark a kaleidoscope of images – an endless stream of snapshots in an infinite number of combinations.

Rest in peace Tim. I love you.

Addendum:

Here are some previous blogs featuring Tim:

Snow Satisfaction

Snow Satisfaction

In 1988, Cath and I enjoyed a ski vacation in the village of Ischgl, Austria, known for both its skiing, and its Après-ski activities. It also presented the opportunity to ski from Austria to Switzerland, as long as we brought our passports. As is usual, Cathy had the last word after we completed the run.

While stationed in Germany in the ‘80s, we took many ski vacations to Austria, sometimes for a long weekend, sometimes for a week. We often went with our friends Jim and Res to the Austrian town of Nauders on the Italian border. The skiing was great there and we enjoyed many fun trips with them.

Good Times With Jim and Res on One of Our Ski Trips.

In ‘88, Jim and Res couldn’t get away, so we decided to go on our own and try a new location. We eventually settled on Ischgl, a village in Austria’s Paznaun Valley with nearly 150 miles of groomed downhill trails. It’s also known as something of a party town with a multitude of Après-ski bars, clubs and restaurants.

We had a great time that week and the town lived up to both its ski and Après reputation. We would ski in the morning, have lunch and a bier at a restaurant on the mountainside, and then ski all afternoon. Eventually, we skied our way back to town and stopped at different places for a drink. Afterwards, we walked to our Gasthaus, cleaned up and went out for dinner, and maybe dancing later. Finally, we’d make it to bed, sleep like the dead, and then do the same thing the next day. It was wonderful, and an easy thing to do when in your early thirties.

Cathy Catching Some Rays on the Slope at Lunch One Day

We learned we could ski from Ischgl, across the border and into the duty-free town of Samnaun, Switzerland. As the crow flies, about 10 kilometers separate the two towns, but It’s farther when skiing. Looking at the map, the route was a combination of ski lifts and Blue and Red trails. (in Europe, Blue are considered easy and Red are intermediate trails). Although we didn’t need passports to enter Switzerland, we would need them to re-enter Austria. We decided to give it a go the next day and have lunch in Samnaun, before returning to Austria.

Ischgl on the Right. Samnaun on the Left.

It was a perfect day with a blue sky as we started towards Samnaun. Through a combination of skiing and a couple of chairlifts, we arrived at the red trail heading into Switzerland. As we descended, it was nice skiing, but then we came upon an icy, relatively steep cat-track, connecting on its far side to a steep descent to the village of Samnaun. Several people stopped there gathering their breath, before continuing. The mountain was on the right side of the track. On the left side, the ground dropped rapidly away into an unskiable valley. As we were watching, many people had problems on the ice and were falling, so some caution was warranted. We were about ready to go when someone came zooming down the slope from above, cut his skis into the snow and ice to turn onto the cat-track and… the skis didn’t grab the ice. Instead of turning, he shot off the side of the mountain, traveled through the air for about 40 feet, and then landed 20 feet below the trail in the snow. Hmmmm.

That caught our attention, particularly Cathy’s. The guy was OK, but now needed to find one of his skis and then climb back up the side of the valley to reach the trail. He couldn’t ski out from where he was.

We watched awhile longer, and then I said to Cath it was time to go. She disagreed and wanted to wait a little longer. More time went by and Cathy still wasn’t quite ready. Finally, I said something like “We can’t stay here, and we can’t go back up. The only way out is down the cat-track.” Eventually we started and slowly made our way. Cathy reverted to snow-plowing and her edges grabbed on the ice. After what seemed like forever, but in reality was probably two or three minutes, we made it past the cat-track. A few people were crashing and burning around us, but we had nary a fall. All that was left was the final descent.

We stood there congratulating ourselves and I pulled out my flask for us to share a short shot of brandy. I filled the cap about half full and handed it to Cathy. She looked in the cap and said, “Really? Do you think I could have a double?!” We both laughed and I filled the cap to the brim. She shot it down, handed it back, and took off on the final descent into Samnaun. After pouring myself a short one, I put away the flask and tore after her, eventually catching up. While the slope was a little steep, the snow was good and we arrived in town without mishap.

Cathy on the Slope.

We took off our skis and found a nice looking Gasthaus. I don’t remember what we ate, but the bier we drank with lunch tasted awfully good. After lingering a while and doing a little shopping, we took a cable car back up the mountain. Following a short ski, and then an additional chairlift ride further up, we arrived at the border crossing into Austria, where we dutifully presented our passports.

Once through customs, we skied down the slope into Austria. We made a couple more runs, and decided to call it quits. It had been a tiring day.

We skied into town to a bar/restaurant we discovered earlier in the week, and after stacking our skis outside, walked in. The place was quite crowded. We found a small table, settled in, and ordered biers along with a couple of Poire Williams*, a French eau de vie (we called them Poor Willies).

As we sipped our biers, the band began playing and their first song was The Stones’ “Satisfaction”. We, along with half the crowd, jumped on the dance floor and started dancing in our ski boots. As we were dancing, the crowd, a mishmash of Austrians, Germans, French, Dutch, Italians and others from who knows where, were all singing at the top of their lungs “I CAN’T GET SNOW… SATISFACTION!” It was one of those perfect moments you can never replicate, but forever remains clear as a bell in your mind’s eye. To this day, I feel my boots hitting the floor in time with the music, hear the crowd singing to “Satisfaction” and see the look of laughter and love in Cathy’s eyes.

Eventually it was time to leave. We went outside to find our skis and make our way home. As we were standing there, Cathy grabbed her crotch with one hand and started pulling at her clothes. I burst out laughing and said, “What the hell are you doing?!” She looked me straight in the eye and answered, “I am adjusting my balls. I kicked that slope’s ass today!” With that, my wife threw her skis over her shoulder and started walking home.

Addendum:

  • Poire Williams is the name of a French eau de vie (literal translation – “water of life”), a clear brandy made from pears. Poire is the French word for pear, while Williams is the type of pear. In Germany and Austria, they make an equivalent bottling called Williams Birne Schnaps. Both are strong, and nothing like the peppermint schnapps we know here in America. Depending on the quality, you might either sip or shoot it.

Sounds of Silence

Sounds of Silence

It was an early winter morning a little before sunrise – that liminal period of time between darkness and light. When I left the house to feed the horses, it was so quiet, the silence felt deafening. I soon discovered the opposite was true. In that cold predawn stillness, sound was everywhere, once I started listening.

That Liminal Period Between Darkness and Light.

I have to admit on most mornings, I’m on autopilot as I walk to the barn. Typically, I’ve only been up about ten or fifteen minutes and haven’t yet had my coffee. It’s pretty rote – walk to the barn, feed the cats, feed the horses and return to the house to make coffee.

I suppose I have the sudden snorting of a buck to thank for my change on this particular day. I stopped and tried to pinpoint his location in the paddock, but couldn’t see him. The question of whether he was sounding an alarm, or merely indicating curiosity was soon answered – I heard muffled footfalls, and then saw six deer leaping our fence before clamoring into a neighbor’s field. Our dog Carmen and I were both so startled, neither of us did anything except watch them go, their white tails vivid in the half-light. I have no idea why Carmen didn’t chase them – it was the first of three unusual non-actions on her part that morning.

The deer must have disturbed some nearby turkeys, as two of them started “gobbling” in the woods by the pond. I looked for them as well, but couldn’t tell if they were on the ground, or the low branches of a tree. Carmen, for the second time that morning, did nothing.

By now, my ears were evidently alert, as I heard a woodpecker tapping near the side of the house. A few footsteps later, the whinnies of our neighbors’ horses came from about 100 yards away. That was unusual for them at this time of the morning. Perhaps something was about, as they were joined by the barking of our friend’s dogs, Jonah and Jebson, about a quarter mile down Swains Road. Carmen’s ears pricked up. Much like the dog telegraph in the movie, 101 Dalmatians, the two frequently start a message that circulates among the other dogs in the neighborhood. This morning, Carmen must have decided they were just gossiping – after listening for a second, she trotted to the barn, with nary a bark.

Jonah and Jebson Trying to Look Innocent

It was chilly in the barn and there was a skim of ice on the water buckets. Our cats, Ollie and Mama Cat, stared silently at me, waiting for their breakfast. The horses weren’t so quiet. Stella and Katie nickered, snorted and pawed the ground. They too wanted their breakfast, but made a much bigger demonstration than the cats about it.

I fed the cats and then the horses, left the barn and started making my way back to the house. It was nearing sunrise now and there was some color in the eastern sky. Carmen and I stopped for a moment just outside the barn and looked to the east. We disturbed a couple of crows who scolded us with their caws, but the cardinals in the nearby evergreen didn’t seem to mind our presence and continued to sing their song of CHEER, CHEER, CHEER ,,, PRETTY, PRETTY ,, PRETTY, PRETTY!

Color and Light in the Eastern Sky.

I thought about the birds and animals, both tame and wild, who were there to greet Carmen and I that morning. It brought to mind one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou – “Listen to yourself and in that quietude you might hear the voice of God.” While watching the sun rise that morning, I had an additional thought – In the quietude of a winter’s morning, hear the voices of God’s creatures and feel blessed, for we are all God’s creatures.

Knowledge and Wisdom

Knowledge and Wisdom

Years ago my friend Joe said, “When I turned fifty, God shared all the knowledge and wisdom of the world with me. When I turned sixty, God told me I should share that knowledge and wisdom with the rest of the world.” Thinking of any number of older pontificators we both knew, we chuckled. I’ve thought about it more seriously since then – from whom have I gained knowledge and wisdom?

Of course, knowledge and wisdom aren’t exactly the same thing. According to the Oxford Dictionary, knowledge consists of “facts, information, and skills acquired by a person through experience or education”, while wisdom is “the quality of having knowledge, experience and good judgment”. Those definitions are close, although not exact. Looking at the two, knowledge is necessary, but not sufficient to have wisdom. There’s that little thing called “good judgement”. I also note the word “age” is in neither definition, and while perhaps, unexpected, I think that’s good. I know some people who were fools when they were young and have remained fools their entire life. It’s almost as if they have an anti-wisdom gene in their DNA.

I’ve thought of my own life and how I’ve obtained knowledge and tried to gain wisdom. Reading books or online resources, experiencing life and listening to others seem to be the three primary ways I’ve learned about life. To keep consistent with the “from whom have I gained Knowledge and wisdom” question in the opening paragraph, I’m only going to talk about listening to and interacting with others today. Certainly, the other two thoughts are important, but short of writing a thesis, I think it’s a bit hard to tackle all three in one short blog.

My parents were a big influence on me, not only as a kid, but throughout adulthood. I think back to the important lessons I learned at home as a child, and also to the advice they gave me over the years. Sometimes I listened, and other times not. Later in life, I also remember a conversation on the phone with dad one day. I was considering a job change and asked for his advice. There was a pause, and then he said “I think this is above my pay grade. You have to make this decision on your own.” Sometimes, wisdom is knowing when to say nothing.

When it comes to learning from others, I along with many of us, have practiced this inconsistently over the course of my life. As a young man, I certainly listened to “older” folk, but I was also guilty of the arrogance and certainty of youth. Who among us hasn’t experienced that combination of youthful passion and fearlessness? I alone KNEW the right answer! Sometimes I was right, and sometimes I failed. But where would we be without that youthful exuberance which has brought so much innovation? Who else has the courage, desire and tirelessness to challenge the status quo?

Growing into middle age, I continued to gain knowledge, and I hope I was gaining wisdom. Moving into leadership positions in the Army, business world and with other groups, I was frequently asked to impart my knowledge and/or wisdom across multiple subjects. I certainly listened to others, but as George Bush infamously stated, I became the “decider” on any number of issues. I believe I made my share of good decisions. There were also errors and poor recommendations along the way. I can think of more than a couple of choices I’d like to have back. Maybe if I’d listened a bit more to others … but of course, you can’t go back.

And now? I mostly retired 10 years ago. Today at 68, I sit on the cusp of elder time. Unlike my friend Joe, as I become older, I’m less sure God gave me any of the knowledge or wisdom of the world. Still, I often DO feel compelled to share what I have with others.

With that in mind, there are two things I’ve learned about myself I want to share.

First, for my peers, don’t let the complacency of old age settle in. You have to keep learning. If you don’t, you grow stagnant and might as well die. Never. Stop. Learning.

Second, and this is for everyone, the true wisdom I’d share is no matter your age, don’t constrict your interactions only to a group of people your own age. There is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom out there and you can learn at all ages from people of all ages. Don’t deprive yourself of the chance to find this out. All you need are open ears and eyes, and an open mind. Most importantly, an open mind.

And so, while I continue to learn much from my friends and peers in their 50s and 60s, I also continue to gain wisdom from friends John, Bill, Nancy, Irv, Malcom, Bob and Kathy among others in their 70s and 80s. Our nieces and nephews who are in their 30s and 40s are a constant source of joy and education about things both large and small. I continually gain new insights and ideas from our friends Mila, Raagni and Morgan, all in their 20s, and all of whom seem wise beyond their years. Lana, our 18 year old niece, makes me think, and raises new concepts and thoughts for me to consider. A couple of months ago, I even learned more about modesty and good manners from Kaeden, the 11 year old grandson of a friend. Of course there are many, many other people I could name here, but you get the idea. Making it personal also makes it more real. Who are some of the people of all ages in your own life you learn from, or maybe more importantly, could learn from? Never stop learning from friends and people of all ages. Never.

I realize this blog has rambled, and I apologize for that. With the year 2024 starting soon, I hope you will commit to a life of gaining knowledge and wisdom. Sample broadly from the learning choices offered. My wife is fond of saying “Every time an older person dies, it’s like a library burning down.”, and she’s right. Don’t miss the opportunity to learn from your older friends and family members before they are gone. Listen to their stories. But also allow time and openness to drink from that endless fountain of youthful exuberance. No one has a corner on knowledge and wisdom. No one

Addendum:

In my younger years, I never did “New Year’s Resolutions”. To be honest, I still don’t. But, as I’ve become older, I seem to do a bit more reflection this time of year. Maybe it’s because I have more time to be reflective, or maybe it’s because I have less time left in my life – I’m not sure which. In either case, I wish you the Happiest of New Years and hope you can take a few minutes to reflect on your life. See you in 2024.