Turning 70

It’s April 10th and I turn 70 today. As a kid, 70 seemed older than dirt. Now? I am simply happy to be on the right side of the dirt. At 70, 80 doesn’t look so old. Seriously, it’s all about perspective, isn’t it? Balancing the good and the bad, along with the choices we have made in our lives. 

According to the Social Security Administration, an American male born in 1955 had a life expectancy of 66.7 years, which means, statistically, I should have died in 2021. Hell, I blew by that number, not even knowing my estimated shelf life was up. Now that I have reached 70, my new number is 83.5 years, so I apparently still have at least a few statistical years to go. 

My grandpa Hall died in 1961 at the age of 73 and my grandpa Grubaugh died in 1968 at the age of 72. As a child, they both seemed old and a bit creaky. Looking at photos of them now, they both still look old to me, or at least much older than I feel. I know life was harder then, but looking at those pictures, it just does not seem possible I’m at that age. 

Although I obviously have no recollection, Mom always described the day of my birth, April 10th, 1955, as a “fine and pretty Easter morning.” The first memories I can recall took place in Mrs Grobe’s kindergarten class in 1960 at McKinley Grade School. Since then, there have been a kaleidoscope of memories. Growing up in Ottawa, Illinois. West Point. Careers in the Army and in business. Living and traveling around the world. Life at Rohan Farm for these past 26 years. Good times with family and friends throughout. And of course being with Cathy, the love of my life, for 53 of those 70 years. Some of those memories are gin-clear*. Others? Well, borrowing from Kris Kristofferson, many are “nearly faded as my jeans.”

I have certainly had challenges along the way, but looking back, I don’t think there is much I would change. Both the good times and the bad have brought me to where I am right now at this juncture. The twists, the turns, the ups and downs. Who can say where a different choice, resulting in a different path would have landed me? A better path? My life has been pretty d@mned good and I don’t think I would roll the dice to see if I could have a better one.

It’s funny. You reach a certain age and some people think you are smart or have knowledge or wisdom you can pass on. They ask if you have any advice for them. Depending on the person, I sometimes revert to Army mode and my first quip is “Don’t f^ck up.” Then I smile. For most of us, we don’t know we have screwed up until it’s too late. And we all screw up sometime. ;-). 

Genuine advice? I don’t know that I have much to give. Maybe I have a few things for you to think about. In full disclosure, I did not understand many of these thoughts until later in life. I hope you can do better. 

• Don’t be afraid to say I love you. Many of us, particularly guys, wait too long to say those three simple words, whether to a partner, a family member, or a friend. 
• Save for the future, but enjoy life along the way. Make memories while you are still able. 
• Measure your richness in friends and friendship. Yes, money is important, but friends, good friends, are often in short supply. Find a way to stay connected with those really good friends. 
• Be quick to forgive others. It’s an easy thing to do. 
• Don’t let others drag you down. Not with their attitude, nor with their fixable issues they won’t correct. 
• it’s OK to forgive yourself. Do not beat yourself up forever about a mistake you make. Fix it if you can, forgive yourself, and move on. 
• Make peace with who you are and what you are. If you don’t like that person, don’t sit around complaining. Work on changing yourself, even if it’s just one day at a time. 
• if you have something you really want to do, do it. As my Dad said, “It’s later than you think.”

70. Seventy. The big Seven-Oh. I am going to celebrate a bit tonight and then get on with living. I have too much to do, and don’t have time for just sitting around and thinking about my age. Carpe Diem my friends. Carpe Diem. 

Addendum:

• * Gin-Clear – perfect visibility (as in the crystal clearness of gin). It’s usually used to describe how clear water, or the sky are. I think it works for memories as well.