Mistakes

It’s that time of year when we (some of us) make resolutions. The making of a resolution often implies we previously made a mistake, or hadn’t done something well enough. The thing is, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. The question is, what do we do about them?

Yes, we all make mistakes. Sometimes they are little. Sometimes they are life altering. We often beat ourselves up about them, which doesn’t really do any good, does it? I think back through my life and some of the mistakes I’ve made at work, at home, or in my relationships. Maybe I could have avoided making them, but due to foolishness, pride, lack of knowledge, inattention to detail or just plain stubbornness, I didn’t. And afterwards? To be honest, I’m not always proud of how I reacted, once I realized the error of my ways.

They say you can’t teach old dogs new tricks, but I think that’s a cop out. We all have the capacity to learn, and to change. And that’s true of how we deal with the inevitable mistakes we make as well.

I’ve learned, for me at least, there are four steps I can take to improve from the mistakes I’ve made – Even big mistakes that altered my life. How we react to our mistakes determines the ultimate path we follow in our lives.

It starts with recognizing and acknowledging I made a mistake. It seems pretty straight forward, but is a step many of us have a hard time taking. I’m not sure why, but I know I have a problem saying “I screwed up.” It’s often easier to try and blame someone else. And yet, once I finally do acknowledge I made a mistake, it makes everything else simpler. It also lessens the opportunity for a a fight with someone else, when after all, I’m really just angry with myself.

Next is forgiveness. We routinely forgive other people for their mistakes and sins. Why is it so hard to forgive ourselves? Forgiveness, instead of self punishment permits us to recognize that yes, we are all human, and mistakes sometimes happen, even with those of us who are loathe to admit we make them.

After acknowledgement and forgiveness comes knowledge. What can I learn from the mistake I made? How can I ensure I don’t make the same mistake again? What other mistakes can I avoid making, by understanding this one? With knowledge comes power – the power to better control my own life.

Which finally leads to the last step – moving forward. We can’t undo the past, but we can learn from it, improve ourselves and focus on the future. It doesn’t mean we don’t acknowledge the mistakes in our past, but we must look forward. Dwelling on past mistakes gains you nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch. Zip. For me, I know that once I’m looking forward, I can move on, continue my life, and continue improving my life.

So, Happy New Year to all. As we enter 2023, and lead our less than perfect lives, remember to cut yourself a break occasionally when you make a mistake. As Alexander Pope said “To err is human”. We can try to minimize our mistakes, but we can’t eliminate them totally. And when mistakes do occur? Life is short – don’t dwell on them, or live in the past. Acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself, learn from them and move forward. You will be a better person for it.